I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much, and I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have also never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts. For Example: One evening last week, my wife and I were calling it a day. Well, things
start to heat up, and she suddenly says, "I don't feel like it I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What's up with that?!"

So she says these words that every husband on the planet would hate to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I rolled over and went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just take them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair to match each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was half a bubble off plumb. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing euphoria from all of the excitement. Smiling with anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all, Dear, let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself, and I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled look. "WHAT???!!!" she finally managed to growl.

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman"

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently, I'm not getting any tonight, either.

Honesty is a lonely road.

Ouch!

It must have been a fun drive home after that.

Mer

Just for the record A new Mini Cooper "S" don't work much better.

Maybe I should go to the next AX in style. These days gong fast in a car is better ..... WAY better.

you can trace all sucess and failures of any relation ship back to three basic things. money ,sex,comunication.
but OUCH that must been a fun eve for ya

Dang, I should have mentioned this was passed onto me, so I didn't get to do this to my wife. Bummer.

I haven't been married this long (8 years) but.....

Ya know the only kind of sex you have when you've been married awhile is?

Oral Sex

Just F$ck you ... no F$ck you as you pass each other in the hallway.

That's hilarious!! Amazing the ideas that come to you in a "cold shower" And the moral of the story is: "Paybacks are a MF!"

Best advise when you get married.......buy a comfortable couch.......

I love it. Just what I was thinking half way through that story.

Last christmas my wife was hinting that she wanted some expensive jewelry.

I was being a smart ass and asked, what's in it for me?
She hinted that there would be fun in the bedroom if I bought her the stuff. then he has the nerve to get mad when I tell her that for the same price I could get a younger, better looking prostitute than her.

She got the jewelry, I didn't get mine ;(

Guys am I doing something wrong?

Take the wife to see a SC ive been eying for a while she says" Go ahead if you want it."
Call the fine young woman and tell her the teener just dropped a valve and she says"Why dont you just buil the big 4 you have wanted?" Never even asked the price.
Tell her about the 130 mph snowmobile I want and the only question is "How fast will it go with me driving it and you watching?"
Now I will say I let her do the same for herself but as to the special favors its all I can do to get some sleep a couple nites a week! The only time I get any flack is when the boy is still awake.

JT

fat chance