G&R All 914 Rusty Parts Swap Meet & Animal Flesh Roast Festival, Now PCA approved & controlled Options

[SLITS]

It's time again for the bi-annual premier event of the year. While I had no choice in picking the date (thank you PCA), we will honor the date picked for me. The bi-annual G&R All 914 Rusty Parts Swap Meet and Animal Flesh Roasting Festival will be held SUNDAY APRIL 21, 2013.

The address for those of you that are memory challenged is 2727 KANSAS AVE, RIVERSIDE, CA 92507. As always it will be held in the back parking lot. Gate will be open by 6:30 AM.

Being that we are dull and boring, there will be a black colloidal suspension known as Coffee, along with fat pills (Donuts for the politically correct) available in the AM for you cheapies that won't buy breakfast. Sorry, bran muffins and the like are outlawed. Alice B. Toklas brownies, cookies & such will be allowed and mixed in with the non-lethal fried sugar and grease. Please disguise them well.

Somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 - 11 AM we will light off the chicken crap methane powered Q and begin crucifying our favorite animal flesh. As those who have previously attended will know, we only purchase the cheapest possible bovine flesh and tube steaks for this ritual. We will provide buns of an unknown nature along with condiments of spurious nature (onions - raw & grilled, tomatoe slices, ketchup, mustard, cheese & anything else of semi-palatable nature). Since you probably didn't get enough fat from the donuts, we will also have fried potatoes (Chips) and some pasta or potatoe salads bought from a spurious street vendor. We will also have sugared water and plain water on hand. For these gastronomical delights we will ask for a $5.00 donation per person to cover the medical expenses and cleanup. If you don't pay, we will pump your stomach and recycle the contents.

Several things to remember or be aware of:

1.) We only have one Unisex bathroom. Be kind to your fellow participants (you know what I mean). Relieving yourself in the parking lot behind objects may be fine for the desert and mountains, but the running stream causes the valuable parts to rust faster.
2.) The facility is under 24 hour video surveillance so don't get to frisky or SuperCop will appear and possibly ruin your day.
3.) Upon entering the property with a low slung vehicle please drive slow. I have enough parts and don't need anymore.
4.) We ask that you place trash in an appropriate container. The various non-operational vehicles are not designated a trash receptacles nor is the ground.
5.) We would be appreciative if you would place empty beverage containers in the container provided. I hate sifting through half eaten food to rescue them. We are a recycling facility.

That's about all the rules we have.

Oh, assdraggers, SUVs and other imports are also welcome. We may laugh and light them on fire, but they are welcome.

Come one / Come all and spread your rusty crap on the bitumen, hope that someone will give you greenbacks for it and haul it off. If not, we will have a roll-off for you to dispose of it in in case you don't want to haul it home. As always, gate entry and swap space is FREE.

Festivities are generally winding down about 2 PM as Glenn needs his nap and I will not man the station alone.

Hope to see you here. I will post phone numbers for Glenn and myself as soon as I remember what they are. I may add politically incorrect statements to this announcement at any time so check back often.