Stupid Things done while working on a 914., C'mon..... Fess Up! Options

[Aaron Cox]

alright, i have 2 stories from early on in my teener owner ship.

alright, so i got this 914, no motor in it. i have a steep driveway.... we checked the ebrake... it seemd to work.... push the car up the street.... to get a running start, ran it down... used the momentum to get up the driveway... pull the ebrake... and almost nothing... car slowly started rolling and accelerating backward... (i should have statyed in the car and steered it....) but i got out and tried to stop it...

i had it 99 % stopped... but the teener's nice LR tail light made friends with my sisters bumper.

lesson cost: new tail light lense.


the second one i have....
i bought new koni inserts for the 914 (about to go 5 lug).... so i put em in the 4 lig struts. went for a little drive "hey, steerung feels kinda funny???" boom... front wheel fell off... and got wedged between a arm and fender....

end result. car went home and up on jackstands for 5 lug swap.

cost of lesson - new fender and body work (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/smile.gif)

[Steve Thacker]

QUOTE (alpha434 @ Mar 23 2006, 02:48 PM)

So when I was first learning to weld, I had a bad tendency onf setting the welding rod on my leg while I regripped it. I did it once and burned a hole through my crotch. Didn't hit anything. I said "WHOA! Better not do THAT again." Then about half an hour later, I did it again anyway. Burned a hole through my pants and 1/16 inch into my leg. About a quarter inch away from my um... utility tool. " I jumped up. Clenched my fists. And said WHOA! Better not do that again. And passed out"

Holy shit.... and I thought I was the only person in the world to do this, including the passing out part.

Dear Brother, I so understand the WHOA part. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blink.gif)

[Steve Thacker]

QUOTE (LvSteveH @ Mar 24 2006, 12:46 AM)

I think this thread is therapeutic or something.... ok ... time to get a few skeletons out of the closet. I was taking apart some old weber carbs and I couldn’t get the auxiliary venturi out (the part that goes across the top of the bore and has the little circle in the middle). Anyway, I grew impatient with my attempts, and got some nylon rope, wound it down, around the aux. vent. and back up through the top. I put the carb on a foam mat so it wouldn’t be damaged, and I put my foot on the top, and pulled up. Well, with a few good pulls it didn’t come, so I decide to really lay onto it. Still no go. It occurs to me that with as much force as I’m applying, if it comes out, it’s going to be a projectile. So I grabbed a thick welding glove to put on the hand on the bottom and in the projected path. Now fully protected, I really give it a go, all I got, 100%. Sure enough it comes loose at mach 9. It was a good idea to put the padded glove on, it’s just a shame that I didn’t put it on the other hand. Apparently my unprotected hand was hanging over just enough for the flying venturi to catch my knuckle and fracture it rather nicely. The worst part of the whole deal was looking at the other fully gloved hand. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/pinch.gif)

I think I just pissed my pants laughing. Yup I sure did..... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif)


For people like us, who are supposed to be accomplished DIY mechanics. We all sure learn shit the hard way. The funny thing is we must never learn from our mistakes. As we use some other dumb method, that at the time looks like a great idea , only to reproduce the same bad outcome twice or more. What is with that?!

Springs, welders and hand tools end up trying to kill us!

[Spoke]

None of mine involve working on the 914. I don't have to break out the tools to do something stupid.

#1:

Had my 914 for about 2 months. Start it up one morning in the attached garage and shit!, I left my work badge in the kitchen. Jump out of the car and run and get the badge. Left the driver door open, ebrake OFF. Car starts rolling out of the garage, door gets caught on the exterior wall and proceeds to bend the door backwards and pops the door glass. As Red Forman would say, "Dumb Ass".

#2:

I convince my wife that taking the 914 to the neighbors house for a party is ok. Afterwards, we go to get milk and I feel a vibration in the steering wheel. Stop, jump out look at the front wheels, they look ok. Better turn around and go home. Vibration gets worse, gets real bad. Slow the car to a crawl and open the door to look at the front wheel. At this point, there's only 2 lug nuts left on and the wheel is ready to fall off. So at 2am in the neighborhood, I empty the trunk clanging and banging to find the lug wrench and tighten the lug bolts. Wife is pissed and embarassed.

#3: OT

Working in a bowling alley doing maintenance on the pit carpet of a machine in the mechanics room behind the lanes. The pit carpet is a 3x5 ft carpet that the ball and pins land on in the machine. Old carpet torn off the board and new one completely contact cemented as well as the board. Total surface area 30 sqft of contact cement. Bored waiting the 15 minutes for the cement to set up, I read the contact cement container with its warning "Extremely Flamable". What U mean, "Extremely Flammable"? So I test (I'm only 18) flammability on the lid of the container with a match. Light the match, and WOOSH! Both the carpet and the board go up in flames. Flames hit the ceiling of the mechanics room. I panic and grab the fire extinguisher and luckily put out the flames with relatively no damage. The room is now filled with this white powdery substance that takes me about 3 hours to clean up. Moral of the story, if it says "Extremely Flammable", BELIEVE IT!

Spoke

[jd74914]

There are some great stories here. I have a few but only 1 thats really 914 related. Most of my dumbest things involve broken bones and falls

I was getting ready to make some patches, and was grinding down rust with a braided wire wheel. I put down the grinder for a min to go do something, and came back a little later. This time I forgot my left glove. I didn't notice and then preceeded to have the grinder slip and grind off the tip of my middle finger. Damn that was alot of blood. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/dry.gif)

Next dumb one was one day a friend and I were working on his rabbit. We went out for a test ride and it broke down, so we pushed it back to his house, which has a gently sloping driveway. Then, he "put on" the ebrake and we went to get some drinks. Next thing we see is the car rolling down the driveway. we both run out (by now its almost in the road) and go behind it to try and stop it. Now a car is comming, but we did manage to stop it before it went into the ditch on the other side of the road. Then, this guy buzzes the rabbit and goes off road, grazing a ditch which bottomed out the car (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif) We picked up his muffler later. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif)

[efeinsmith]

#1: Not mechanical, but some might question my judgement. After a three day Skip Barber Racing School in Lime Rock, Conn. (running Formula Fords), I was running late, so I didn't bother taking off the flame suit. I just tossed my helmet onto the passanger seat of the 914 and headed home. While heading down the Taconic Parkway, mindset still on track driving, I took the exit WAY(!!!) too fast. Though the tires complained bitterly (all of 165 x 15's, I must have learned something at the class, because I did not lose it through the turn.

#2: After retiring to rural Alabama (no laughs out there, I have waterfront property on a 30,000 acre lake), I needed to transport my "in progress" V8 conversion. After getting it off the transporter (no engine, trans, or brakes), I needed to go uphill, so I took the country approach. Attached a line to the tow hook and pulled it with a John Deere! Now that's country :-)

[alpha434]

QUOTE (Steve Thacker @ Mar 24 2006, 01:08 PM)

QUOTE (alpha434 @ Mar 23 2006, 02:48 PM) So when I was first learning to weld, I had a bad tendency onf setting the welding rod on my leg while I regripped it. I did it once and burned a hole through my crotch. Didn't hit anything. I said "WHOA! Better not do THAT again." Then about half an hour later, I did it again anyway. Burned a hole through my pants and 1/16 inch into my leg. About a quarter inch away from my um... utility tool. " I jumped up. Clenched my fists. And said WHOA! Better not do that again. And passed out" Holy shit.... and I thought I was the only person in the world to do this, including the passing out part. Dear Brother, I so understand the WHOA part. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blink.gif)

Nobody readily realizes how sensitive the inner thigh is. DAMN THAT HURT!!!

I've nearly lost fingers before. And that didn't even phase me. I've fallen from a 3 story building and got back up without even a bruise. But I would do ALL of that rather than burn myself with a piece of welding rod on my inner thigh again.

[Aaron Cox]

QUOTE (alpha434 @ Mar 24 2006, 03:41 PM)

I've fallen from a 3 story building and got back up without even a bruise.

are you superman? or BS man? (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/av-943.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/owned.gif)

[alpha434]

Superman. I rolled when I hit. I was cleaning the shop roof gutter. Got attacked by a swarm of hornets. Found a good place to land and dropped. Rolled ten feet. Got up. Al was pretty pissed. Said I scared the shit out of him. Shook myself off. And told him that we had a problem with hornets. And that I was going to need some carb cleaner for when I go back up there.

[spare time toys]

QUOTE (alpha434 @ Mar 24 2006, 05:41 PM)

Nobody readily realizes how sensitive the inner thigh is. DAMN THAT HURT!!!

Tell me about it (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif) I was using a die grinder with a rottery file in it to trim up the edge of a bag bin repair. I was standing on a platform and had one foot in the bag bin when I got distracted by John Lamb walking up and yelling at me to be carefull. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/huh.gif) About that time the bit grabbed and jumped and hit my inner thigh (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/ohmy.gif) It sort of felt like a little twist on my flesh. John just stood there locked up and looking pale (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/wacko.gif) I quick got some shop towels and covered where skin used to be and went to the Doc in a box. It took 10 stiches to close it up. I asked John not to yell at me when I am working anymore. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/slap.gif)

[alpha434]

I'll bet every stitch hurt like crazy and that you couldn't walk for days!

[messix]

ok just today i go down to spirted sheep headers' house to get a couple of rear calipers off his wreak, and decided to use my trailer park impact wrench on the caliper bolts and what did i do on the third wack....... yep, right square on my thumb. nice 1.5 lb ball peen hammer missed the cheapo wrench. gonna have a marlynn mason thumb nail for a while.

[mikelsr]

QUOTE (Mueller @ Mar 23 2006, 12:19 PM)

stood over the carb on a 914/V8 and poured gas into it while Brad cranked over the engine...resulting backfire out of the carb removed hair from one arm and partial removal of eyebrows  :o

Reminds me of a friend who did the same thing but he had a beard. He put the flames out on the car before he put his beard out. Now that is a car guy!

[bondo]

QUOTE (Dr. Roger @ Mar 24 2006, 01:19 PM)

914 story. there's a reason they label radiators "feed" and "outlet". that's all i'm going to say.

They do? I've actually never seen that... I've just always known the outlet is at the bottom because water pumps can't suck air. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/wink.gif)

[zymurgist]

OK, this one is actually a 914 story.

I have this wanna-be mechanic friend (female, if that makes a difference (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/wink.gif) ) who decided to check the engine oil in a 914 she had recently purchased, and she put the oil cap on top of the air filter box (both of which are black). She got called away, and when she returned to her car, she neglected to replace the cap. She drove off in the car and thought nothing of it. Later, when she discovered that the cap had gone missing, she searched fruitlessly for that oil cap in the engine bay. Needing to cover the hole left by the missing cap, she substituted a rubber plug in place of the oil cap and went on with life. The following day, while on her way to meet an old friend for lunch, the car started making hideous noises and ground to a halt. It turned out that the missing oil cap had worked its way down into the cooling fan, which resulted in shearing off the clutch on one end of the crank and the fan housing on the other. (I am not making this up.) The fuel injected 2.0 engine was now an expensive pile of scrap metal. For want of a nail, the shoe was lost, etc. She ended up buying another engine core, since the case in the 914 engine had a crack that had been sealed with JB Weld, and a mutual friend then rebuilt the engine for her.

[Rrrockhound]

Not a 914 story, but at least it's in the VW-Porsche family...

For my very first stab at being a mechanic, I tried changing the oil on my mother's '78 Rabbit. But try as I might, I couldn't get the oil filter off. I tried 2 or 3 different oil filter wrenches, and as a last resort, I impaled the oil filter with a big effin' screwdriver, as oil spilled all over the garage floor...but it just wouldn't come off. Mom had to call a mechanic to make a house call. Later the next day in school, it hit me...working from above the engine, not below, I was trying to turn the damn thing the wrong way.

On the same car once, changing the front brake pads, I made the mistake of not loosening the lug nuts until after jacking the car up. I applied full body torque to the lug wrench, and watched in slow motion as the car rocked forward off the jack...Until then, I never knew what kind of strength the human body could muster in times of crisis...

Anyway, I felt terrible that Mom had to pay a mechanic because of my f***-up, because she didn't have a lot of money at that time. But I guess the new Saab I bought her a couple of years ago made up for it.

[davep]

Years ago an acquaintance came to me complaining about an intermittent oil leak, like about every time he added oil. Every time he checked his oil it was down, so he would add some, and soon enough there would be a puddle. He couldn't figure out how his engine could be so low and yet overflow. I could easily tell that something was wrong, so I asked him to show me what he was doing. I had to try to politely tell him that the timing inspection hole over the fan was NOT the oil filler.

[Pat Garvey]

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/confused24.gif)

I decided to change the bushings on my 914 shocks, didn't have a spring compressor handy & the rental place was out. So............

Had a crappy aftermarket manual at the time (very old!), which offered the idea of using the spare wheel as a compressor. You were supposed to stand the strut on end, with the top end protruding through the center opening of the spare wheel, and apply compression by sitting on the wheel. Then, ratchet off the top nut.

My 200 pound bulk wasn't enough, so I asked my better half to help by sitting on my lap (one of my better excuses for getting her to sit on my lap). Sits on my lap, which is now enough compression power, but the bottom of the strut tilts slightly & the whole assembly takes off like a rocket from below. We are both left flat on the garage floor & the strut takes off for the other side of the garage....which just happens to be where my precious 911E is!!!!

Strut smacked hard & heavy against one of the Fuchs "petals" & cracks the damned thing! One new wheel purchased!

Lessons learned?
Try not to be so stupid in the future (still trying)
Tools, tools, tools - if they're not available, wait until they are.
The thing could have fired itself at my compression nut(s)
Getting friendly with the wife whould be limited to other areas of the house (though she did help me prepare for a concours nude!)
Use the factory shop manuals!!!!!
(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/screwy.gif)

[Eric_Shea]

QUOTE

an acquaintance came to me

an acquaintance... how many of your guys are buying THAT? (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif)

[d914]

most of my gotcha's involve me a 914 and a trailer.....

- didn't chock the wheels on the trailer, thunder storm pops up, some nice gusts of wind and I find my car trailer 50 yards down the block. Thankfully a cable box stopped it and not a neighbors car!!

- Roebling road going to unload the car, ramps down, straps off...buddy comes out of his trailer and tells me to leave it till morning. So a crank the trailer off the truck...Last turn of the crank, trailer comes off hitch and the car rolls down the ramps and runs over a fence....Mean while there are THREE of us just watching the car leave the scene...


need I go on.....I sold the trailer!!!! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/wacko.gif)