Stupid Things done while working on a 914., C'mon..... Fess Up! Options

[GaroldShaffer]

2 stories (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/slap.gif)

914 story -

Parts car has nice Mahle rims on it. Of course the last rim is stuck on, lugs removed, all for corners off the floor place towel over rim the wrap 2x4 in another towel and used a 5ld seldge to break the wheel loose. Last BIG swing sledge bounces off board and hits me in the leg just below the knee, I fall over and hit head on fender. I got that F'n rim off, but hand a HUGE black & purple bruise on my leg for 2 months.

#2 back in 1985 I was 19 just had my 76 Nova totaled by a lady that ran a red light. I bought a 75 Vega GT proceeded with the help of a few friends to install the v8 from the Nova. d-day, time to fire the beast up, crank crank crank, won't fire (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/dry.gif) Pour a little gas in the carb, crank and nothing stick my head in to look in the carb just as my GF decides to crank it one more time, yep backfire through the carb. Now remeber this is 1985, BIG metal hair band days............ you get the picture (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blowup.gif) the next day is when I started cutting my hair short (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/dry.gif)

[ClayPerrine]

QUOTE (Elliot Cannon @ Mar 23 2006, 01:37 PM)

Had been working on the car for some time. A hot summer day, so I went into the kitchen to get a cold one. Came back out in the garage, walked over to the work bench, sat down my drink and out of the corner of my eye saw what appeared to be a little black car rolling down my driveway. Dropped my drink, ran after the car and just managed to grab the P brake just before the car hit the opposite curb. As Bugs would say "what a maroon"! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif) Cheers, Elliot

You would think a professional pilot would know to "chock the gear when leaving the cockpit"!!!!! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif)

Maybe you should make a checklist for parking your 914. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/poke.gif)

[MikeP]

When I first installed my SBC I hooked the fuel line to the vaccuum advance port thus filling my motor with fuel. When I cranked it over it shot a 6 foot flame out the carburator and valve breathers.....oops

[TINCAN914]

QUOTE (olav @ Mar 23 2006, 11:20 AM)

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenence job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and says, "It says sprocket not socket!"

How I wish he would do stand up again.. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif)

[mike_the_man]

I'm sure I could come up with several, but the winner for me is this; I was trying to remove a siezed front shock. Because it was siezed, I couldn't compress it enough to get it out of the shock tower. Instead, I decided to pry the A-arm down using a long metal bar. I had the bar wedged against something, and had a friend pushing down really hard while I pulled on the shock. When A-arm finally got low enough to allow the shock out of the tower, it smacked hard against the inner fender, twice, putting two big dimples in the fender, and craking the paint. Oops! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/sad.gif) Then, to top things off, when reinstalling the shock, I banged it against the fender one more time! Nope, I never do learn.

I think my vote goes to the chopstick story though. Someone should find that thread!

[zymurgist]

I agreed to pull an engine and tranny to do a clutch job. That was almost a year ago. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/wink.gif)

1. While the perfectly running engine was out, I removed the injectors and had a local garage check and clean them for me. When I put the engine back in, only one injector was working. I sent them to Rich Jensen and he brought the 3 dead ones back to life. Turned out the local guys didn't know what they were doing, and I should have walked out when they said they had never seen injectors that looked like the stock 2.0 models.

2. While the engine was out, I decided to replace the fuel lines. Had to mix and match parts from my local NAPA store (I buy lots of stuff from them) until I finally got it together with 5/16" brake lines for both supply and return. Not stupid, per se, but it added a lot of extra time to the repair job.

3. Got the engine back in and I'm tuning it. It wouldn't run, although it ran just fine last weekend. Hook up my handy-dandy homemade fuel pressure gauge and there was no fuel pressure. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? It worked before. I shone a light into the gas tank and it was bone dry.

Oh yeah, there's a great long-lived thread on the Pelican 911 board called "admit to your stupidity." Lots of bonehead maneuvers there.

[tdsmoonchild]

QUOTE (Joe Ricard @ Mar 23 2006, 01:50 PM)

Welcome to the EXTERNAL combustion engine.

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/av-943.gif)

[WRX914]

I bought my car thinking I would just put as little $ in as possible.

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/av-943.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/051103-stupid4.gif)

[sherman1]

20 years ago, on my 1st ever garage clutch job, I was in the process of removing the tranny while the engine was held up by stands. Laying on my back, looking up towards the tranny, as I loosend the last rear engine mount, the tranny dropped down towards me but the rear ground strap briefly caught it, then it broke & the whole thing landed on my shoulder hard ... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/spank.gif)

Fortunately, about this time the adrenalin was rushing through my system, and I was able to lift that damn tranny with one arm...

Then, later as I began to loosen the very tightly torqued center bolt, which holds the clutch flywheel, the ratched slipped & my left elbow slammed against the exhaust connection, creating a deep 3 inch gash with a whole lotta blood - I still recall screaming in pain then looking down into that open gash & saying, "Oh, Sh-t!!!"

There was no one home at the time, so I had to drive my other car (with 4-speed stick) down to the local doctors office to receive 8 stitches...what a mess! Almost passed out...


Now I know why the shop labor rates are around $120 bucks an hour.

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/beerchug.gif)


BTW - great post, I love to read that we all share those bone-head stories (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/popcorn[1].gif)

[Bruce Allert]

OK... first one: drain oil before removing Tuna can (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/rolleyes.gif)

2nd one: never ever use a lighted match to see if the battery is low on water... no matter how dark it is out side! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blowup.gif)

...b

[dinomium]

QUOTE (bondo @ Mar 23 2006, 11:28 AM)

QUOTE (SirAndy @ Mar 23 2006, 11:18 AM) QUOTE (bondo @ Mar 23 2006, 10:00 AM) While disassembling a rear shock/spring setup, I didn't have a spring compressor handy. I played with it a bit and it didn't seem to be under all that much tension... But it was enough, and launched the nut, washers and spring hat all over the place.. usually not a problem on the 914 as the springs are not under much pressure, but i did that once with a front shock assembly of a '74 super beetle ... i had the shock/spring in a vice and i'm using a big wrench to take off the top nut, didn't think i needed spring compressors ... then, while turning, i hear a loud bang and the nut, retainer and spring are gone! i look up and there's a big hole in the garage roof, the spring went right through the 5/8 drywall and was stuck in the insulation! it missed my face by about 5" and it went so fast that i didn't even see it. that could have been *ugly* ... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/rolleyes.gif) Andy I think the reason it was so much pressure was because they were bilstein shocks with the adjustable perch set second from the top... I think you've still got me beat though. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/smile.gif)

Yeah, the crappy kind of spring compressor slid off as I was unblolting a rear assemble and embedded the washer in a 2x6 rafter like it was a chineese throwing star!

[tat2dphreak]

removing the tar off the floor... I pretty much had the tar off of the pass. side, using my trusty tiny butane torch...

I decided to wipe a bit of the glue off(with brake cleaner) and see if I missed any tar... I wipe up the glue, notice a few small pieces that were hiding, put the shop towels on the back of the floor... and grab the torch (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/unsure.gif)

as soon as I *click* the torch things took a turn for the worse... the floor burst into flames... including the brake cleaner soaked rags...

I put out the fire, no sweat, one squirt from the extingusher...

but the rags continued to smolder...

I stomped them, poured water on them, and threw them into the dumpster nearby the garage(I'm still in the apartment at this point) and I go back to work... a few minutes later... things are smelling funny... I look, the dumpster is smoking now... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/headbang.gif)

it's not going anywhere, so I get some water to pour on it... but an old lady comes by on her power-walk and calls the fire dept. on her cell (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/screwy.gif) so soon the fire dept. shows up, on a 100 degree day to put out a smoldering rag in a dumpster in the middle of a concrete parking lot...

[dinomium]

hi, my name is Dino and I am clutz...
So I am trying to get the front suspension link bolt of the the red car and it wont budge! So it get a long wrench, hook a smaller wrench thru the box end and slide a nice long chunck of pipe over that! Now, I am "supposed" to be getting ready to go to a dinner party, but my wife is still at work, so I am sneaking in a little extra shop time! Since I am pressed for time, I dont move the car to get more room to work and am laying on the floor inbtween my roll a way and the car. The pipe trick works alittle too well! Big wrech flys off the nut and smacks me in the forehead! That causes a recoil into the tool box! I am seeing tweety birds and stars!!!
Christine comes home and is not happy. I am still sitting on the floor of the shop. She wants to know why I am not dressed and how did I get an imprint of a wrench on my forehead?
DHO!
Caught and hurt, at least I got out of the party!!

[Sparky]

Ok so I eluded to a darker learning period in another thread so here goes (note most of these adventures involved myself and DaveC):

#1. While helping out fellow addict with his 6 conversion we get the /6 in and al buttoned up. Figure we'll take for a test drive and see how it feels. Hmmm oil gauge says 0 pressure at idle. Check oil and it's fine. Engine is a fresh build from a solid shop. Ok bad gauge. Second gauge shows 0 pressure. Man were are we finding these bad gauges?! Third gauge shows 0 pressure at idle also. Ok Let's run her around the block. Get 100 yards down the road and SCREEEEECH motors stops. After owing it back home with Land Rover we discover that someone has the oil lines on wrong, feed to return. I recall someone saying "Are you sure the oil lines are on right?" after the first gauge read zero pressue.

#2. After finishing a head job on my 944 we got the engine back together and I was in the middle of torquing the cam rollers when 2 things happened, first a 45 minute conference call with work. Then Dave's 22 year old daughter pops out with some of her girlfriends all in bikinis. Dave's daughter is a stone cold fox as are her friends. I get back to working on the 944 and notice that I've picked up all of the tools while I was on the conference call. Must be done torquing everything down. So i cal Dave out and we decided to give her a crank and see how she sounds. crank crank crank BANG. #3 piston blows a chunk out of the cylinder wall after shearing off a valve. Seems I "forgot" to tighten the main tensioner pulley bolt with all of the "distractions" around me.

#3. Storing a stripped roller in dad's garage on metal saw horses 36" high. Dad needs it moved 4 feet over closer to the wall so we can put his boat in and do some work on it. I ask Mom to come out and assist, I figure I can just lift the roller while she slides the saw horses over. Working on one end at a time it should be a breeze. We get the front moved over and as we head to the rear of the car i give it a good lift and have it about chest high. Mom crawls under and slides the saw horse over and begins crawling out. The roller starts to slip so I lift more and can feel my left shoulder just ripping away. Mom gets out just as the shoulder gave away and the roller dropped onto the saw horse. While trying to explain all this to my doc he stood there with a stunned look on his face and said "I'm not a vet and I'm not used to treating gorillas." Took almost a year for that shoulder to heal right.

#4. Helping Dave with a fuel injection project on his /6. Using early heads with the injector bosses in the heads he upgraded to PMO throttle bodies. Dave bought injector "plugs" for the heads. We got them buttoned up and I was dialing his Electromotive with my laptop. We got the idle set and I'm trying to tweak a fuel curve and lean into the engine compartment when BANG one of the injector plugs comes flying out and parts my hair. It embedded itself in a ceiling joist. At that point I called it a night and had a very tall scotch. No water, no ice, just scotch lots and lots of scotch.

I've got more but these are the best (?!) so far.

Mike D.

[mike_the_man]

QUOTE (Sparky @ Mar 23 2006, 01:12 PM)

Then Dave's 22 year old daughter pops out with some of her girlfriends all in bikinis. Dave's daughter is a stone cold fox as are her friends.

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/thisthreadisworthlesswithoutpics.gif)

[Sparky]

Nope not gonna do it... Dave also likes to collect guns.

[JB 914]

letting (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/stromberg.gif) touch my motor.

[Carl]

Well, if you want to get into teenage stupidity …
My first car was a 1955 Ford Town Sedan and, although it was in good shape and looked pretty nice, it wasn't good for much except using gas and leaking oil. Speed, acceleration, handling, and economy were all options that it didn’t have. It had a huge steering wheel, the diameter of which could just be reached with the fingers of outstretched arms.

My high school girlfriend lived up in the hills not far from town and for grins, coming down from her place, it fun was to shut the ignition off, wait for 5 or 10 seconds and then turn it back on. A big backfire would echo through the hills.

In an effort for bigger and better I turned the ignition off longer than normal only to turn it back on to an enormous “KABOOM”. COOL! That was NEAT!

Not only did it tear a hole in a muffler, it also humped up the rocker arm covers and blew out the seals from between the valley cover and the engine block. Geez, that was smart …
(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/screwy.gif)

[Porcharu]

QUOTE (Mueller @ Mar 23 2006, 10:15 AM)

stupid thing: wearing loose fitting sweat pants while working on the 914..... incedent report: using angle grinder (locked to "on" position) with wire wheel attachment, grinder kicks back, wheel "grabs" sweats and attacks the family jewels (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/wacko.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blink.gif) took a few solid seconds to shut off the grinder due to it whipping around.... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/screwy.gif)

I had that happen while using the extra super nasty "cable" type wire wheel. That SOB attacked my ungloved hand, blood and very foul language were everywhere. Now I always wear big heavy MIG welding gloves using that nasty thing.

[jhadler]

QUOTE (JB 914 @ Mar 23 2006, 01:26 PM)

letting (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/stromberg.gif) touch my motor.

I dunno, that just might be the winner. But the key thing is this: did you know it was a stupid move -before- you did it?

-Josh2