Stupid Things done while working on a 914., C'mon..... Fess Up! Options

[grasshopper]

I need to work on my temper.... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/rolleyes.gif) Today I was trying to remove that big ass bolt on the rear suspension that holds the brake disc on.... bar slipped and rounded off the bolt...thats not where I hurt myself... I got pissed, and punched the concrete floor.... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/unsure.gif) Im pretty sure I broke my pinky finger...its purple and about twice its normal size.... (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/headbang.gif) trying to hide it from my mom isnt easy...... I hope it will just go away.... typing with my left hand is kinda wierd.... i need some weed (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/smoke.gif)

[Toast]

Dropping a metal can of glass cleaner on you 12- hour-old paint job.
(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blowup.gif)

[LvSteveH]

I think this thread is therapeutic or something.... ok ... time to get a few skeletons out of the closet.

I was taking apart some old weber carbs and I couldn’t get the auxiliary venturi out (the part that goes across the top of the bore and has the little circle in the middle). Anyway, I grew impatient with my attempts, and got some nylon rope, wound it down, around the aux. vent. and back up through the top. I put the carb on a foam mat so it wouldn’t be damaged, and I put my foot on the top, and pulled up.

Well, with a few good pulls it didn’t come, so I decide to really lay onto it. Still no go. It occurs to me that with as much force as I’m applying, if it comes out, it’s going to be a projectile. So I grabbed a thick welding glove to put on the hand on the bottom and in the projected path. Now fully protected, I really give it a go, all I got, 100%. Sure enough it comes loose at mach 9. It was a good idea to put the padded glove on, it’s just a shame that I didn’t put it on the other hand. Apparently my unprotected hand was hanging over just enough for the flying venturi to catch my knuckle and fracture it rather nicely. The worst part of the whole deal was looking at the other fully gloved hand.

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/pinch.gif)

[brp914]

1. under car knocking drive flange out of trailing arm. metal rod in left hand. 5lb sledge hammer in right. bring back hammer and give it a solid whack - klink - nuthin'. hmmm, ok harder - clank! - nuthin. sumbitch. quickly draw back hammer for coup de gras. hammer flies out of hand into eye socket. world class shiner.

2. setting ig. timing on -6. got head in engine compartment next to fan. got inspection mirror in one hand and timing light in the other. Yell to brother "ok, take it to 6 thou!" WUAAAH grzzzount! mirror gets sucked into fan. the mirror may have vaporized, or may simply not exist anymore.

[Borderline]

Years ago I was welding on the safety chain for the trailer. When I was done I pulled off the gloves and picked up the chain to inspect/admire my work. I quickly tossed the chain aside. My partner in the race car aked if it was hot. Another buddy responded "no, it just doesn't take him long to look at a piece of chain". I'm always doing stupid (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/stromberg.gif) but the worse thing is to have witnesses!

[Carl]

QUOTE

My partner in the race car aked if it was hot. Another buddy responded "no, it just doesn't take him long to look at a piece of chain".

Great stories today. Good fun. Thanks.

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/lol2.gif)

[JB 914]

QUOTE (jhadler @ Mar 23 2006, 03:00 PM)

QUOTE (JB 914 @ Mar 23 2006, 01:26 PM) letting  :stromberg: touch my motor. I dunno, that just might be the winner. But the key thing is this: did you know it was a stupid move -before- you did it? -Josh2

The post title is "Stupid things done while working on a 914.."

NOT "Are you Stupid"

does that clarify things?

[Andyrew]

QUOTE (dan10101 @ Mar 23 2006, 07:54 PM)

Since wrenching for over 30 years, I have quite a few. But, most I've wiped out of my mind. It's great to have short term memory. One I carry around with me... I was working for Goodyear. Finally ordered Rivera Wheels to go on our 71 914. They were polished and looked great. I put either 195 or 205 50 15 Goodyears on it. The back tires were a very tight fit. (more on this coming soon). I had it up in the air and was trimming the inside of the fender lip so they wouldn't rub. But up in the air I couldn't tell how much space I had. So I put a floor jack under the the LR arm and raised it up into the fenderwell. I was clearing just enough so that it would trim the lettering off the outside of the tire, but not enough to cut into the tire itself. Then I had the bright idea of spinning the tire to make sure it would clear. Suddenly the tire stopped. I had a finder jammed inbetween the top of the fender and the tire. After I got over the shock of what I did, I spun the tire back the other way and freed my bloody didget. Work backed up that day as someone had to drive me to the Dr to get stiches. The boss said I was white and wouldn't let me drive. At least the tires didn't rub as long as I kept my fingers out of the way.

I didnt know that happened on moms 914!!

funny.. heck I didnt even know you did that at your work either... Was that before or after you were married?

[JJ914]

Well here I go.
Carpet in right pass floorboard would not stay glued up. My big idea, put a short screw in top of the carpet to keep from it flopping over. Worked great on 1/4 tank of gas not so good with full tank (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blink.gif)
Screw worked like a wick drawing gas into car, got alot worse when I pulled the screw out. But its all good now.

[Porcharu]

I could tell you about the time I was gas welding without any gloves under a dash and a nice molten blob of rubber fell onto my hand and seared it's way into my skin (lovely 3rd degree burn - still have a nice scar), but that would be embarassing. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/rolleyes.gif)

The absolute dumbest thing I have ever done (while working on a car at least) was welding while being exausted - I fell asleep with a gas welder on in a closed garage.

[alpha434]

QUOTE (majkos @ Mar 23 2006, 02:24 PM)

QUOTE (alpha434 @ Mar 23 2006, 10:37 AM) I dunno. But one of the local guys didn't say anything when I hopped under his car with a sawzall and started cutting crap out from under it. Who did the stupid there? (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/screwy.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/ohmy.gif) That was ME! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/finger.gif) (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/ar15.gif) Thought you know what you're doing! (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/cool_shades.gif) BTW it's a Track car,doesn' t need much under the rear trunk (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/smash.gif)

HA! The one day that you're actually online! And I DO know what I'm doing. I cut that crap out REAL good, didn't I?

And next time, I'm cutting the trunk OUT! I'll pick up some tubing to brace it with before I come over next time.

(IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/w00t.gif)

WHAT NOW?!?

[1bad914]

Drilling a hole in a piece of sheet metal that I was fabricating for the 914, I'm wearing gloves and being very careful. Then I decide to use the drill bit to elongate the hole...the bit slipped out of the hole and thru the glove and my hand. Went right thru the fleshy part between your thumb and fore finger. The worst part was that it wound up in the leather glove, I had to reverse the drill back out of my hand to get it out. Ouch! Adreniline got me thru it, my wife found me in the garage on my knees looking a little pale!

I wear rubber gloves a lot when I work on the car, smashd my finger while using a hammer, hurt like hell, but I kept on working. About a minute later I looked down at my hand and the glove was full of blood...kewl!

Stupid is as stupid does!

[zymurgist]

A few non-914 adventures from "Ace Mechanic"...

When I was a kid, I had a '73 Toyota Celica. It was a real basic car... when you opened the hood, you could actually see the engine. Anyway, so there I was, adjusting the valves in my parents' driveway on a nice sunny day. I had a big socket wrench on the crankshaft pulley bolt to rotate the engine so I could do each valve in turn. I finished the job and started the car. My effort was greeted by a loud KA-THUNK! I was thinking, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot... then it dawned on me that the socket was still on the crank bolt. The socket wrench swung around and went right into the radiator. Fortunately, the damage was minor and I was able to get a friend to braze the hole up for me.

The Toyota had these trick aftermarket alloy wheels on it, as well as fog lights up front. This car was really stylin' for an 18 year old driver. These cool slotted wheels were held on by your standard acorn type lug nuts suitable for use with steel wheels, which were, in reality, totally wrong for the application. I found that out the hard way when I was driving along the road and one of the rear wheels came off. The car came to an abrupt halt, skidding along the metal shield that covered the brake drum. I thought that was a peculiar failure mode, put the wheel back on, and went about my business. This is where the stupidity comes in. Rather than perform even the most rudimentary causal analysis, I continued to drive around with the wrong lug nuts more-or-less holding the wheel on, until it happened again. This time, the emancipated wheel rolled out into the street and into the side of an old lady's car. She wasn't too happy about that, even though there was no damage to her car other than a black mark where the tire had struck it. ("You can buff that out, ma'am!") The cops came and we both told our stories... of course, I conveniently left out the part that it had happened before. He wrote me a warning and I went promptly to an auto parts store and found some lug nuts that would fit inside the holes and provide lots of thread to hold the wheels on. The wheels never came off again, at least not of their own accord.

I replaced the balancer on my '77 Corvette a few years ago. Got a trick puller tool from Summit Racing and pulled it off, no problems other than lots of grunting, getting a 20 year old part off the engine for the first (but not the last) time. Bought a new one from a Chevy dealer. Balancers come unpainted so you can paint them factory orange, factory blue, or whatever color your engine happens to be. Well, I had a can of blue spray paint that I had used to paint the valve covers. Apparently it had been sitting around for a while so the nozzle was clogged up. I thought, hmm, this is peculiar, and started messing around with it. PSSSSH! I nailed myself right in the face with blue paint. Fortunately I wear glasses so I didn't get any in my eyes... but I spent some time with mineral spirits cleaning off my face and my glasses (and I didn't even have a spare pair at the time).

Then there was the time that I finished installing $1100 worth of stereo equipment in the Corvette (and this was like 10 years ago when $1100 would buy lots of goodies), and I had barely enough time to finish reassembling the interior before a friend and I were to leave for Hershey for the day. We were running very late, so as soon as I got everything together, I started the engine and off we went. Mind you, this was a car that had been sitting over the winter, and I did not bother to check the oil. Well, that turned out to be a really hideous oversight. A week or so later, the engine developed a rod knock... apparently I had run it two quarts low and that sealed the fate of that engine. This incident kicked off a 3 year restification project on the Vette, because once I had the engine out, I found other things that needed to be done on a 25 year old car with 100,000 miles. (DWD syndrome apparently applies to all kinds of cars.) There was an upside, though... I used the opportunity to replace the 180 hp base motor with a 390 hp small block.

Fast forward to my first Porsche... so there I was, trying to track down an electrical short in my '70 911. I found that one of the red wires that attaches to the battery has a short to ground. I disconnected the wire and started using a multimeter to check continuity between the end of that wire and various locations under the dash. I unplugged the connector from the ignition switch, and I found that this wire apparently connects to multiple terminals in the connector. I then noticed that the connector has a cover on it, and I started wondering if there was a short inside the connector... so I unsnapped the cover, ever so carefully, to avoid breaking a 30 year old piece of plastic, and BAM! All the wires fell out of the connector. So there I was, with a 911 that still had a short, but now I also had munged up the wiring for the ignition switch. There were like 12 terminals all arranged in a circle, and I was wondering how I was ever going to figure out which wire was supposed to be in which position. I was eventually able to fix that with a lot of help from the guys on the bird board.

[spare time toys]

I had mine up on the roll around table and was messing around fitting the peddal board when I realized I was rollong (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/sad.gif) I went down the drive and hit the Suburban (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif) Its the longest ride I have had in the car too date (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/screwy.gif)

[jr91472]

QUOTE (JJ914 @ Mar 23 2006, 10:37 PM)

Well here I go. Carpet in right pass floorboard would not stay glued up. My big idea, put a short screw in top of the carpet to keep from it flopping over. Worked great on 1/4 tank of gas not so good with full tank (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/blink.gif) Screw worked like a wick drawing gas into car, got alot worse when I pulled the screw out. But its all good now.

Hey Jason, I did the same thing but with a drill. Drill went through the sheet metal and RIGHT into the FULL gas tank.

I felt like the little Dutch boy with my finger in the dike as gas poured into the pax compartment. I yelled for my wife to bring a bucket (I could take my finger off of the hole you know..). Then spent the next 20 mins filling up a big gulp cup and then emptying it into a gas can, then into the wife car, then into my other car.

Finally, the gas level got below the hole. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/wacko.gif)

Repairing the gas tank kicked off many other "while I am in there" jobs....so I guess it was meant to be.

Thanks for this thread Clay...I feel alot better. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif)

[Dead Air]

It was my stepmother's '68 MGB, circa 1977. I didn't have a license. It was sitting in the driveway, the sun was out. My folks were out of town. The batteries were dead. My across the street neighbor had an old Jag Saloon and he lent me a battery to get it started. I broke the battery clamp taking it off. It was coroded by acid. Bought a new battery clamp and broke the post in the battery while installing it with a hammer.
Drove about four miles before it quit in the middle of a four lane across from a 7/11 were three Sherrifs were having their coffee.
One stopped traffic, the other pushed and the third asked to see my license. Then he wrote me a ticket and impounded the car. I was in trouble.

[zymurgist]

"installing with a hammer" (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/laugh.gif)

Methinks you should have quit while you were ahead.

Actually, this reminds me of another stupid kid story... my folks were out of town and my dad left his BMW 530i at home. I thought it would be cool to drive around town in a BMW, even though I had no idea how to drive a manual tranny car. I got it started, and I really wasn't doing too bad... right until the time I missed a shift and the whole shifter mechanism disappeared through the tunnel and out onto the road below.

Yep, I was in trouble.

[TJB/914]

Real funny stories guys. Things you do when your a kid.

I was 16 and just got my drivers license. Was out late past midnight with dad's Ford truck. Came home when everyone was in bed. Worried that I was in trouble & turned off the lights to coast down the long winding driveway to park behind the garage. I had no trouble seeing with a bright moon. Decided to turn off the motor and put the key's in my jeans. Ooh no, turned the wheel & the steering wheel locked up. Crashed into the corner of the garage & took out the front fender and the corner of the garage.

Yep, lost my driving privilege for a long time. When I look back it's a wonder I am alive.

Tom

[tdgray]

Not really any stupid stories yet with the 914 - other than the unsual smack in nuts with the grinder and melt a glove with a hot piece of weld etc.

Two other car related incidents though.

I was replacing the clutch on my 73 BMW 2800CS. Out in the garage just working away. In those days my drink of choice was Coke and lots of it. I had a two liter and was juts taking swigs from it every once in a while. Had just got out from under the car and went to take a big drink... all of a sudden wicked freaking pain in mouth and the sensation that something was crawling around my teeth. Spit the coke out and TWO hornets come flying out. My freaking face swelled up like a ballon and my tongue was swollen for two days. Needless to say I kept the caps on the bottle after that.

Nother one, age 16 ... I was replacing the pipes and muffler on my 1964 Pontiac Bonneville (HUGE freaking car that thing was). When taking the old pipes off I broke one of the ears right at the stud... shit. I take the whole header off and take it down to the local weld shop. Guys welds the ear back on as well as welds a long stud to replace the other one. He brings it up to the counter and says "better wait for that to cool before you leave". At the same time a guy is standing next to me - listening to my conversation with the owner. I pay and go to get some rags out of my car to pick the manifold up... Other guy at the counter picks up the manifold and say to me "hey don't forget your"... then proceeds to scream in pain as he is looking at the thread pattern burned into his hand.

.... Here's your sign. (IMG:http://www.914world.com/bbs2/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif)

[Dr. Roger]

914 story.
there's a reason they label radiators "feed" and "outlet". that's all i'm going to say.

914 story.
after just 2 days of driving my newly built V8 914 i wanted to install the 911 axles. a buddy was over and offered to help. he crawled under the car and i handed him the socket wrench. he asked why he needed the socket wrench as all of the bolts were hand loose already.... no i didn't use fresh squiggly washers or locktite...

lastly...
just wanted to back my chevelle up the driveway to have more room to work on it. left the door open. caught door on side of house and bent door backwards....

i watched it bending like it was in slow motion. stucco is realy strong. =-)