Went for a spirited drive today, with no troubles at all.

I always back the 914 into my driveway. Today, I pulled diagnoally across the street when I got home to position for backing in, and the engine died.

It'll start and run about 1 second, then die again.

I realized I'm not hearing the fuel pump - so my guess is that's the issue. It's a '74 2.0 and a PO relocated the fuel pump to below the tank. It's also converted to carb so the fuel pump wiring is probably not original.

Where do I look? In stoopid layman terms (e.g. "the round thing next to the blue thing"), where are the fuses & relays that could be at fault?

I coasted down my street (it's a hill) and I'm now parked about 30 yards downhill from my driveway. Leaving town for work tomorrow so I'd really like to get it back into my driveway today!

That happened to me lately.
Ended up rotating relays around and that (sorta) worked. Actually had to do this a few times to stumble home although ultimately I gave up and waved down the flatbed tow truck that happened to be behind me.

Because it kept going out, but then swapping relays worked, I semi-concluded that it was contacts/connections. I removed my relay board and cleaned the crap out of it. The problem hasn't come back, although I am not 100% sure that was the cause. Time will tell, I suppose.

I swapped around the three round relays but still don't hear the fuel pump. If it's helpful, here's what my generations-of-DAPO-rewired relay board looks like:

Click to view attachment

Just think, you don't have to wrestle with that 30 yr old fuel injection
Here's a pic of some carb fuel pumps. Your pump may be similar?
Click to view attachment

I've never seen my fuel pump. I've never pulled the tank and I think it's under there... PO told me it was moved to the front using a kit from AA.

At this point, I'm gonna give it a little more time to cool off and then see if it'll start up. Hoping to get it back inside the carport before the storms arrive!

Got it closer to the curb and threw on the car cover before the storms arrive. Won't be able to get it up the hill to my driveway without one of the following:
1. a couple guys to push
2. towing it with my DD
3. getting it running again

Any other simple things (fuses?) to try?

FWIW, I used up all the fuel in the lines. Now it cranks & cranks but doesn't fire, definitely seems like there's no fuel. The first few tries it would run for a second or two, then die.

Forgive the stupid Q, but, do you have gas in the tank?

If you had stock wiring, sure. Looking at that mess, who knows. For all we known, the PO bypassed the relay and fuses altogether ...

Look for a blown fuse on the fuse panel and check the two fuses on the relay board.
If they all check out, pull the tank and test your fuel pump directly.

If the pump works with 12V to it directly, you will have to trace the PO's wiring ...
Andy

PS: This thread might be of help: http://www.914world.com/bbs2/index.php?showtopic=25954

Reasonable thing to ask... Filled the tank about 100 mi ago and the gauge was still reading 1/2 tank.

Carbs? You should hear that loud as heck faccet.

Throw some direct power to that pump (only way to know if it works) and if it works, keep that power on it and bring it home, if it doesnt work, new pumps are ~70 @ the store.

Now it's back in the carport, thanks to a tow from my DD. My brother, who can hardly drive stick, just got his one and only chance to drive (well, steer anyway) the 914 while I drove the tow vehicle.

Gonna be too busy the next few days to work on it, but I'll try to diagnose the issue at some point. Still no ticking sound from the (yes, loud) fuel pump. I hope I didn't damage the starter or mortally wound my battery when I drove it in "EV Mode" about 20 feet to park it closer to the curb.

No tickee ... no power or fuel pump took a healthy