Ok..... so I had a SERIOUSLY weird weekend.

Long story short: My best friend lives in Dayton Ohio. The friend that knows everything. The friend you trust with your innermost secrets. The friend that you're not afraid to tell anything and everything to........ the friend that you've had for almost 2 years, but never actually met in person.

Um..... so yea..... she and 2 of her girlfriends came out to spend the weekend with me.

Lets just say I had a REALLY, REALLY good weekend. So good that this woman and I are confessing our love to eachother, planning trips to visit eachother, and possibly even arranging for her to transfer jobs from Dayton to St. Louis.

Trust me.... I REALLY like being single, and I do not take the word "love" lightly. However.. if I were EVER to get remarried... I can't think of a better woman than this one... Trust me, I've met a few--LOL

Ok.... now I've just opened myself to all kinds of humiliation, and "Shut up, you pussy" comments--LMFAO.. but whatever.. I can take it.

QUESTION: So what do I do? Anyone else ever made a long distance relationship work? Do I roll with this? Or do I come back down out of space, and get realistic?

Seriously!! WTF?!?!?! I date half the women in St. Louis, then I find the perfect woman.. and she's 6 hours away. Grr

Advice??

Oh yea..... and she LOVES the Teener.... so you KNOW this chick rocks!

If you met her and liked her company (in person) then you need to take it to the next level. Share the long distant relationship thing with her, trade off travel and see if you still like each other after 6 months., It sounds like you need to trust your gut but DO NOT jump in. Take it slow.

My 2 cents
Neal

I'll answer your question with a question. How old are you? This is a serious question. I'll give you credit, you have big huevos asking a relationship question on a car forum. But, I think it's cool!

I have a friend that has been in a 700 mile relationship for 6 mos or so, they meet on holidays and such, he says it is a pain, but worth it!

Umm, think about that statement long and hard before you make any big changes...
If you just met her for the first time in person, I would say that you need to give it some more face to face time.
Ferg.

I agree with Neal. Give it 6 or so months and see what happens. Just in case what it says under your avatar is true, you might want to wait to see what happens. Pyshos are never fun, but if my memory serves me, you have been there and done that. My opinion of course

I will never understand in this day and age why people "like to be single". With all the freakin wackos, the STD's and the hassle of keeping up with the dating trends it begs the question.... why the hell is that so great.

Seriously dude go 4 it. Life is to short to be unhappy.... if this makes you happy do it.

I've done the internet thing and I've done the long distance thing... neither worked out I'm not saying they won't work for you, but I met some of the best psychos like that, and you are a self-professed psycho-magnet!... I'll never do either of those things again

I also dated the person that I saw as a great friend for a LONG time(letters and visits for 6+ years before anything happened) that didn't do anything except ruin a great friendship...

if you take it slow, you can do it, the long distance thing sucks, and you HAVE to be 1000% secure that you can trust her... and her you... that is a lot of trust for the early beginnings of a relationship... but the taking it slow thing is a big thing too, you are already talking about her relocating and planning trips... that seems too fast!

take it slow, have fun and give it a shot, but keep reality in mind too... there are going to be times when you don't see each other for months... and that sucks for both of you!

shameless plug:
if you decide to do it, look into a long distance company that has a flat rate ($40 unlimited domestic LD) I can hook you up with that if you need..

Or drink cheap beer!

To all,

Ok.. so yea.. I do have this horrible habit of meeting psycho chicks... Most of us remember the little incident with the wackiest of them all coming in here and causing havoc a few months back.

Nevertheless.. I've also become pretty good at identifying them early.. this chick is definately not psycho... if I even had an INKLING that she might be, I'd drop her ass like a half-eaten hamburger--LOL

As far as "dry spells" are concerned.. I assure you, the LAST word anyone could use to describe the last 2 years of my life would be "dry".. LOL I don't really have a problem meeting women and getting dates.. I only have a problem meeting QUALITY women.

Well don't get me wrong... we're nowhere close to moving in with eachother or anything.... but all I can say is that she's awesome. 6 months?? I guess we'll see what happens in 6 months huh?

Lastly... I'm 28, was miserably married for almost 9 years... been very happily single for about 2.5 years.

As far as having balls to ask a car club about relationship advice..... Shit..... am I supposed to go pay a therapist?? LMFAO

Cheap beer rules

28 years old
- 9 years married (miserably)
- 2.5 years single (happily)
16.5 years old?

WOW, I though I got married young (pronounce 'Jung' ) at 19!



P.S. - How's your daughter feel about this?

I was married at barely 18. The "legal" marriage was 9 years, but we were actually "together" for about 7.5 years.

My divorce/custody battle took 19 months, and $13,000 in lawyers fees. But hell, I have custody, and my ex wife actually PAYS ME child support if you can believe that.

My daughter? We both have daughters.. mine is 8, hers is 9.. the kids have not been introduced into this yet. I'm gonna give it a few months, and a few more visits... then involving the kids will be the next step.

I know my daughter, and I also know she'd really like me to be with someone. I also know my daughter would love this woman.

I guess we shall see huh?

The only thing a therapist did for me was to prove what I already knew...that my ex-wife was frapping nuts! I filed for divorce the day that the therapist told both of us that my ex was nuts, in front of her! I now have custody of my daughter and she pays me child support. What a waste of 22 years!

As far as the relationship, go for it!

That's VERY rare! I know of only one other guy with that situation.

Just giving you some shit about the age thing, no offense intended

damn, that math scared me! I'm glad you cleared that up...

my next advice was going to be: if you got married at 16, YOU may be the psycho, and just blaming it on the poor innocent chicks j/k

even at 19, that seems young to me... I couldn't have been faithful at 19 let alone mature enough to be in a marraige... or maybe I just waited a LONG time... I just got married at 28... last september

Well, don't get me wrong.. I'm the best dady in the world... but my ex-wife did help out a lot with that.

She's an uneducated, sexually irresponsible, financially irresponsible, and emotionally irresponsible........ stripper.

Oh yea.. and she got busted lying to the judge, as well as the GAL (guardian ad Litem) during the divorce process..... I'd say that helped my case a bit--LOL

FUNNY STORY: During the divorce process, her lawyer tried to get half the money I got from selling my 77 Trans Am, or he wanted to force me to sell the Porsche (both transactions were after the separation, but before the legal divorce).....

I told them that I wanted half the money back that I spent on her breast implants.. or I wanted one of them removed and returned to me.

They dropped the issue--LMFAO

Met a girl when I was 21 in a place 3 hours away from me at the time. I was a young college football player at the time, and had no idea what a dry spell was. We took it slow, and dated long distance for about a year. We have been married now for 15 years next month. Like all relationships, we have had our ups and downs, but something told me that night she was the one. The little voice was more like a wisper than a scream, but I decide to give it a chance. She is the wife and mother that every man is hoping for when they take the plunge, and I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I had listened to the GIANT pile of people who were certain it was not possible to make a relationship work under those circumstances.
(fill in your own "STFU you pussy" joke here )

For us the key was to take our time. There were adjustments to be made when the relationship has been long distance in the begining, but spending as much time together as possible in short visits (i.e. weekends) early on is a good way to ease the transition.

Follow your heart brother. And turn a deaf ear to those whose relationships are so FUBAR that they can't stop themselves from trying to piss all over yours. :finger2:

well....I know the long distance thing I guess...my gf lives in st. george Utah....needless to say....if both of you are determined to make it work...then go for it...I drove over 2000 miles in the last two weeks to see her a few times....and in the previous weeks when she can take time off work she will go and stay with family in vegas so that we can be together every day....it is hard...but when when she runs up to me and wraps her arms around me its all worth it...if you want to make it work and if you think she is best for you, then make the sacrifice and hope for the best. ...you just need to develop trust and have faith....good luck to you

Jared...
then again I am ten years younger than you....

Post pics of her boobs....then I'll let you know if "I" approve....

so you had an orgy?

seriously though. my wife and I long distanced for about 9 before getting married. we dated before i moved though (and we were long time friends). married 7 years next week . i mean
my brother just married a long time friend after a 7 month long distance relationship and no dating. everyone thought he was crazy, but they are in love. so, i think you can pull it off. if youre ready.

go figure.... my brother and i move to colorado, and we both married girls from our home town in california and moved them out. but, that was a true sign of committment, because they moved for us.

didn't we just go through the same thing with you a few weeks ago?

you were all "in love" and quick to tell everybody that she likes girls too and then "kabooommm" we had to listen to the whole brake-up crap and brad ended up hitting on her ...

whatever makes your banana dance, dude ...
Andy

I dated a gal that lived 8 hrs away (Thunderbay) and everything was great till I phoned her one night and her boyfriend answered. Hey shit happens. Go visit her and see what happens.

WHAT!!!!!!???? LOL

That was several months ago... I posted something about how my new g/f hated my teener... then that basically turned into a conversation about how much of a freak she was--LOL

2 months later, she created a profile just to come in here and screw with me... this was in addition to harassing me through e-may, Yahoo, stalking not only me, but my ex wife, and even my good buddy that lives downtown. Then she started with threats to my daughter...it was actually pretty scary shit.

But nevertheless...I know for a fact I never even THOUGHT about anything long term with that freak.

She was a freaky piece of ass that went crazy on me.. thats it..... it's been pretty quiet now for a couple months...... Thank god--LOL

Aircooledboy........

Man... that was inspiring.... AWESOME!

Ummm... i think he has been spending too much time thinking about long and hard.

Me thinks he REALLY needs to take it slow and think about how this will all work, before anyone relocates, blah, blah, blah.

Try the long distance thing out and see how it works... slowly.

Naaa.. it's really not about that this time.

In the past month I've had 3 girlfriends, and about 5 bootycalls whenever I want em... Trust me.. I'm not driving 6 hours for a piece of ass... If this woman hadn't impressed the hell out of me, I wouldn't even bother to mention her.

And yea... I'm not in a rush.. even if I made it sound that way. When I said we were trying this whole "long distance thing", I just wanted to get some advice, hear stories, etc.

Don't worry... you're not gonna see any pics posted anytime soon of me in the teener, dragging beer cans behind me, and "Happily married" written in white shoe polish on the back window. LMAO

I'm thinking 6 months is the magic time.... not necessarily to "do" anything... but to at least make some decisions, you know?

Thanks for all the advice guys..... This club rocks

IMHO - Long distance relationships freakin suck. I would see how it goes for a bit before you do anything too serious. It's all a big game of craps. Some people do the long distance thing and get together and it's all hunky dory, for others it sucks. The only things I would mention is that when you have a long distance relationship - you don't actually get to know what kind of a person they are when they get home from work. Every time you see them you get all caught up in not having seen them for a while and ignore anything else. When you live with them - all that stuff you didn't see before becomes more significant.

Take it slow.

amen! listen to the english guy ^^^


btw. fiid, aren't you supposed to be on a bike right now or something?
like, getting in shape for your big week ???

Andy

WHOA! Why are you wasting hamburgers?!

got about 2 weeks left (I'm terrified.)

I am still below the minimum needed to take part in the event! Sponsor me now if you have any extra moolah!!!

http://www.aidslifecycle.org/2113

Fiid.

geeesh, be a bit more creative, will 'ya?

you shouldn't have any problems selling yourself in your neighborhood.
Andy

Since I met my wife at a 914 event (Branson, MO 1998) and she was living in Springfield, MO and I in TN (about 375 miles between), I feel fairly qualified to answer this one! So we had a long distance relationship, a bit of an age difference (she's 13yrs younger), and now a great solid marriage with two wonderful kids.

First of all there is a major plus with a long distance relationship, and that is communication. You do a lot of it. You talk about lots of stuff you probably wouldn't discuss on date nights. For us this continued. You'd be surprised at the relationships that don't have good communication.

Next would be the fact that after talking on the phone for weeks between visits, you'll enjoy the time you spend together, and I don't just mean "gettin busy". IMHO people in relationships tend to ignore partners at the worst possible time. For us this carried into our marriage.

My advice would be to proceed full tilt, with care. Oh, and to learn to like the things about her that drive you crazy or piss you off. Anyone can like the good stuff, it's the things that nerve the crap out of you that you have to be able to live with, and love too.

PK

5 yr old boy
3 yr old girl
7 914 cars, and a 911 parts car
00 Boxster
00 Windstar van
02 F150 SuperCrew 4wd
Big house with a big utility bill
135 acres with 6 out buildings and a rental house
2 businessess
and still Happily married

Glad you liked it my friend.

I get so sick of the negative people in this world who's apparent mission in life is to convince everyone that relationships can't ever be anything more than a ball and chain, because theirs have always been that way. Well, it just ain't true. One of my pet peeves is when you hear someone announce they are getting married, and some asshole spouts off about what a bitch his wife is and what mistake it is to get married. I just wanna punch em.
Relationships aren't maintanance free. If you treat them like they are, they fall apart every time. If you and your partner are both willing to work at it, my experience has been that they can be pretty great, whether it is long distance or across the room.

Good luck. If you ever head north, drop me a line.

Dude- from everything I've read here you might want some therapy, to ditch the "Psyco-Magnet" Label...You are attracted to "Freaky" bitches and this-one will be "busy" with her girlfriends when you're not around!
As was mentioned previously...you are thinking with the wrong head.... (what ever makes your bananna dance).....

P.S. - That will be $150.00 for group therapy fees,
(hey,could help with new fundrasing effort).

this is my favorite suggestion, then the advice would be free.

Hey same thing happened to me!! it wasnt her bf though it was her hubby LOL

I can laugh about it now

she lived in Seneca falls, I lived down on LI, about 5 hours or so away..She would either comeon dowm and we would spend time in NYC, or we would get together when I was at Watkins Glen (obligatory porsche content LOL)

Back then I was a freak and was doing like 25-30 days a season at the Glen so I saw her alot....

It dawned on me one day something wasnt right...called her home phone... instead of the cel... and hubby picked up...Talk about a effed up situation :s

OK enough about me

having done the long distance thing for awhile... just keep your antenna up!!

Hey how come none of our members of the female persuasion havent chimed in with their opinions?

there's my que!

Long distance relationships suck big donkey :dhead: Sorry. Just how I feel about it.

Tried it once when I was a young lass, and after deciding to follow him and go to a college near him, I found out that he's got another girlfriend. Nice.

An older and wiser lass now, I know I need the physical aspect of a close relationship. I mean aside from sexual contact. I need to see my significant other, and have him close enough to give me a hug when I'm having a bad day. Maybe that's just me. Otherwise, how is it different from just being an opposite sex friend that you're really close with?

Plus you guys know about the cheating rule, right? Different time zone/country/international waters don't count.

Jen

Thanks Jen!!



thats one of the problems I had with a long distance thingy... everytime we saw each other things were planned, we are on our best behaviour etc...

Some of the dynamic and spontaneous nature of a relationship was missing...

In any event good luck!!

I know of a few success stories... and some of the others have related theirs

I was in a long distance relationship once, and it didn't work very well. I kinda think they suck, but it was when I was pretty young, so that most likely had something to do with it. If she makes you happy, then go for it. Distance can make things harder, but if you want it to work, it will work. Good luck, and congrats on meeting a good woman.

I had an LD relationship last year (150 miles each way, not bad). Met her off-roading in PA. Dated 3 months but she got scared when things got really serious and her friends gave her crap for thinking of moving away from them. Her parents loved me, Her mom told me I was the best thing to happen to her. 9 months later and I'm still trying to get over her. She was cool as hell.

Man.. I had no idea that the differences of opinions would be so defined.... Half of you are like "go for it".. the other half is like "no way"

Then there's the few that swear I'm thinking with my :dhead: --- LMFAO

Contrary to popular belief... I'm tired of these crazy bitches I keep finding (6 of them in 2 years went crazy on me). And I've done every freaky, nasty thing imaginable... several times.. and the novelty has kinda worn off... I think it'd be cool to finally hook up with a "normal" girl, you know?

People screw up.... hey.. it happens. She knows when I go out partying, I have this horrible habit of going home with some nameless piece of ass, and regretting it in the morning. Hell.... this is the girl that I've been calling for the past 2 years and telling her all about my adventures.... then we laugh about them together.... and try to figure out if I can remember what their name was--LOL

Hey.. she screws up too... it happens. I'd be upset.. but not un-understanding. Neither would she.... and thats the cool part.. even if we did screw up... we would tell the other.. thats what kind of relationship we have.

How the HELL can I ignore a chick like that? If I did.... I'd wonder for the rest of my life if I made the right choice. The way I look at it.. I HAVE to give it a shot.

She came out here this past weekend, we're gonna do an over-nighter at the half way point (Terre Haute, IN) on the 4th of June..... then I'm gonna do 3 or 4 days in Dayton with her on the 18th of June.

Wish me luck.. thanks again for all the advice

Rock o n