 WWWTF OT: Relationship advice, Who better to ask than 914 clubbers? |
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| ninefourteener |
 May 24 2004, 09:07 AM
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#1
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Perfectly Normal Guy :)  Group: Members Posts: 1,216 Joined: 3-June 03 From: St. Louis, MO Member No.: 779  |
Ok..... so I had a SERIOUSLY weird weekend.
Long story short: My best friend lives in Dayton Ohio. The friend that knows everything. The friend you trust with your innermost secrets. The friend that you're not afraid to tell anything and everything to........ the friend that you've had for almost 2 years, but never actually met in person. Um..... so yea..... she and 2 of her girlfriends came out to spend the weekend with me. Lets just say I had a REALLY, REALLY good weekend. So good that this woman and I are confessing our love to eachother, planning trips to visit eachother, and possibly even arranging for her to transfer jobs from Dayton to St. Louis. Trust me.... I REALLY like being single, and I do not take the word "love" lightly. However.. if I were EVER to get remarried... I can't think of a better woman than this one... Trust me, I've met a few--LOL Ok.... now I've just opened myself to all kinds of humiliation, and "Shut up, you pussy" comments--LMFAO.. but whatever.. I can take it. QUESTION: So what do I do? Anyone else ever made a long distance relationship work? Do I roll with this? Or do I come back down out of space, and get realistic? Seriously!! WTF?!?!?! I date half the women in St. Louis, then I find the perfect woman.. and she's 6 hours away. Grr Advice?? Oh yea..... and she LOVES the Teener.... so you KNOW this chick rocks! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif) |
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Replies(1 - 19)
| Neal |
May 24 2004, 09:13 AM
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#2
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Member Group: Members Posts: 300 Joined: 23-April 03 From: Sammamish, Washington Member No.: 605 |
If you met her and liked her company (in person) then you need to take it to the next level. Share the long distant relationship thing with her, trade off travel and see if you still like each other after 6 months., It sounds like you need to trust your gut but DO NOT jump in. Take it slow. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smlove2.gif)
My 2 cents Neal |
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| 1bad914 |
May 24 2004, 09:16 AM
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#3
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Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 618 Joined: 6-May 04 From: Battle Creek, MI Member No.: 2,028 |
I'll answer your question with a question. How old are you? This is a serious question. I'll give you credit, you have big huevos asking a relationship question on a car forum. But, I think it's cool!
I have a friend that has been in a 700 mile relationship for 6 mos or so, they meet on holidays and such, he says it is a pain, but worth it! |
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| Ferg |
May 24 2004, 09:23 AM
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#4
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914 Guru Group: Members Posts: 5,948 Joined: 8-January 03 From: Boulder CO Member No.: 116 Region Association: None 
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QUOTE I find the perfect woman.. and she's 6 hours away Umm, think about that statement long and hard before you make any big changes... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/beer.gif) If you just met her for the first time in person, I would say that you need to give it some more face to face time. Ferg. |
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| 415PB |
May 24 2004, 09:23 AM
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#5
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Member Group: Benefactors Posts: 498 Joined: 7-August 03 From: So Cal Member No.: 996  |
I agree with Neal. Give it 6 or so months and see what happens. Just in case what it says under your avatar is true, you might want to wait to see what happens. Pyshos are never fun, but if my memory serves me, you have been there and done that. My opinion of course (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
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| tdgray |
May 24 2004, 09:25 AM
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#6
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Thank God Nemo is not here to see this Group: Members Posts: 9,705 Joined: 5-August 03 From: Akron, OH Member No.: 984 Region Association: None |
QUOTE Trust me.... I REALLY like being single I will never understand in this day and age why people "like to be single". With all the freakin wackos, the STD's and the hassle of keeping up with the dating trends it begs the question.... why the hell is that so great. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) Seriously dude go 4 it. Life is to short to be unhappy.... if this makes you happy do it. |
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| tat2dphreak |
May 24 2004, 09:31 AM
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#7
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stoya, stoya, stoya Group: Benefactors Posts: 8,797 Joined: 6-June 03 From: Wylie, TX Member No.: 792 Region Association: Southwest Region |
I've done the internet thing and I've done the long distance thing... neither worked out I'm not saying they won't work for you, but I met some of the best psychos like that, and you are a self-professed psycho-magnet!... I'll never do either of those things again
I also dated the person that I saw as a great friend for a LONG time(letters and visits for 6+ years before anything happened) that didn't do anything except ruin a great friendship... if you take it slow, you can do it, the long distance thing sucks, and you HAVE to be 1000% secure that you can trust her... and her you... that is a lot of trust for the early beginnings of a relationship... but the taking it slow thing is a big thing too, you are already talking about her relocating and planning trips... that seems too fast! take it slow, have fun and give it a shot, but keep reality in mind too... there are going to be times when you don't see each other for months... and that sucks for both of you! shameless plug: if you decide to do it, look into a long distance company that has a flat rate ($40 unlimited domestic LD) I can hook you up with that if you need.. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) |
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| SpecialK |
May 24 2004, 09:32 AM
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#8
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aircraft surgeon Group: Benefactors Posts: 3,211 Joined: 15-March 04 From: Pacific, MO Member No.: 1,797 |
QUOTE(tdgray @ May 24 2004, 07:25 AM) Seriously dude go 4 it. Life is to short to be unhappy.... if this makes you happy do it. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/agree.gif) Or drink cheap beer! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/beer.gif) |
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| ninefourteener |
May 24 2004, 09:47 AM
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#9
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Perfectly Normal Guy :) Group: Members Posts: 1,216 Joined: 3-June 03 From: St. Louis, MO Member No.: 779 |
To all,
Ok.. so yea.. I do have this horrible habit of meeting psycho chicks... Most of us remember the little incident with the wackiest of them all coming in here and causing havoc a few months back. Nevertheless.. I've also become pretty good at identifying them early.. this chick is definately not psycho... if I even had an INKLING that she might be, I'd drop her ass like a half-eaten hamburger--LOL As far as "dry spells" are concerned.. I assure you, the LAST word anyone could use to describe the last 2 years of my life would be "dry".. LOL I don't really have a problem meeting women and getting dates.. I only have a problem meeting QUALITY women. Well don't get me wrong... we're nowhere close to moving in with eachother or anything.... but all I can say is that she's awesome. 6 months?? I guess we'll see what happens in 6 months huh? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) Lastly... I'm 28, was miserably married for almost 9 years... been very happily single for about 2.5 years. As far as having balls to ask a car club about relationship advice..... Shit..... am I supposed to go pay a therapist?? LMFAO Cheap beer rules (IMG:style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif) |
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| SpecialK |
May 24 2004, 10:18 AM
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#10
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aircraft surgeon Group: Benefactors Posts: 3,211 Joined: 15-March 04 From: Pacific, MO Member No.: 1,797 |
QUOTE(ninefourteener @ May 24 2004, 07:47 AM) Lastly... I'm 28, was miserably married for almost 9 years... been very happily single for about 2.5 years. 28 years old - 9 years married (miserably) - 2.5 years single (happily) 16.5 years old? WOW, I though I got married young (pronounce 'Jung' (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) ) at 19! P.S. - How's your daughter feel about this? |
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| ninefourteener |
May 24 2004, 10:25 AM
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#11
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Perfectly Normal Guy :) Group: Members Posts: 1,216 Joined: 3-June 03 From: St. Louis, MO Member No.: 779 |
QUOTE(Special_K @ May 24 2004, 08:18 AM) 28 years old - 9 years married (miserably) - 2.5 years single (happily) 16.5 years old? P.S. - How's your daughter feel about this? I was married at barely 18. The "legal" marriage was 9 years, but we were actually "together" for about 7.5 years. My divorce/custody battle took 19 months, and $13,000 in lawyers fees. But hell, I have custody, and my ex wife actually PAYS ME child support if you can believe that. My daughter? We both have daughters.. mine is 8, hers is 9.. the kids have not been introduced into this yet. I'm gonna give it a few months, and a few more visits... then involving the kids will be the next step. I know my daughter, and I also know she'd really like me to be with someone. I also know my daughter would love this woman. I guess we shall see huh? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) |
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| 1bad914 |
May 24 2004, 10:28 AM
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#12
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Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 618 Joined: 6-May 04 From: Battle Creek, MI Member No.: 2,028 |
The only thing a therapist did for me was to prove what I already knew...that my ex-wife was frapping nuts! I filed for divorce the day that the therapist told both of us that my ex was nuts, in front of her! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/clap56.gif) I now have custody of my daughter and she pays me child support. What a waste of 22 years!
As far as the relationship, go for it! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/beerchug.gif) |
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| SpecialK |
May 24 2004, 10:29 AM
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#13
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aircraft surgeon Group: Benefactors Posts: 3,211 Joined: 15-March 04 From: Pacific, MO Member No.: 1,797 |
QUOTE(ninefourteener @ May 24 2004, 08:25 AM) my ex wife actually PAYS ME child support if you can believe that. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smilie_pokal.gif) That's VERY rare! I know of only one other guy with that situation. Just giving you some shit about the age thing, no offense intended (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) |
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| tat2dphreak |
May 24 2004, 10:32 AM
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#14
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stoya, stoya, stoya Group: Benefactors Posts: 8,797 Joined: 6-June 03 From: Wylie, TX Member No.: 792 Region Association: Southwest Region |
damn, that math scared me! I'm glad you cleared that up...
my next advice was going to be: if you got married at 16, YOU may be the psycho, and just blaming it on the poor innocent chicks (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) j/k even at 19, that seems young to me... I couldn't have been faithful at 19 let alone mature enough to be in a marraige... or maybe I just waited a LONG time... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/confused24.gif) I just got married at 28... last september |
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| ninefourteener |
May 24 2004, 10:38 AM
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#15
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Perfectly Normal Guy :) Group: Members Posts: 1,216 Joined: 3-June 03 From: St. Louis, MO Member No.: 779 |
QUOTE(Special_K @ May 24 2004, 08:29 AM) QUOTE(ninefourteener @ May 24 2004, 08:25 AM) my ex wife actually PAYS ME child support if you can believe that. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smilie_pokal.gif) That's VERY rare! I know of only one other guy with that situation. Just giving you some shit about the age thing, no offense intended (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) Well, don't get me wrong.. I'm the best dady in the world... but my ex-wife did help out a lot with that. She's an uneducated, sexually irresponsible, financially irresponsible, and emotionally irresponsible........ stripper. Oh yea.. and she got busted lying to the judge, as well as the GAL (guardian ad Litem) during the divorce process..... I'd say that helped my case a bit--LOL FUNNY STORY: During the divorce process, her lawyer tried to get half the money I got from selling my 77 Trans Am, or he wanted to force me to sell the Porsche (both transactions were after the separation, but before the legal divorce)..... I told them that I wanted half the money back that I spent on her breast implants.. or I wanted one of them removed and returned to me. They dropped the issue--LMFAO |
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| aircooledboy |
May 24 2004, 10:42 AM
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#16
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Sweet Pea's 1st ride in daddy's "vroom -vroom" Group: Members Posts: 1,672 Joined: 4-February 04 From: Rockford, IL Member No.: 1,629 Region Association: Upper MidWest |
Met a girl when I was 21 in a place 3 hours away from me at the time. I was a young college football player at the time, and had no idea what a dry spell was. We took it slow, and dated long distance for about a year. We have been married now for 15 years next month. Like all relationships, we have had our ups and downs, but something told me that night she was the one. The little voice was more like a wisper than a scream, but I decide to give it a chance. She is the wife and mother that every man is hoping for when they take the plunge, (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smlove2.gif) and I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I had listened to the GIANT pile of people who were certain it was not possible to make a relationship work under those circumstances.
(fill in your own "STFU you pussy" joke here (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lol2.gif) ) For us the key was to take our time. There were adjustments to be made when the relationship has been long distance in the begining, but spending as much time together as possible in short visits (i.e. weekends) early on is a good way to ease the transition. Follow your heart brother. And turn a deaf ear to those whose relationships are so FUBAR that they can't stop themselves from trying to piss all over yours. :finger2: |
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| DrifterJay |
May 24 2004, 10:53 AM
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#17
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I break stuff... Group: Members Posts: 1,034 Joined: 25-May 03 From: Oceanside, California Member No.: 737 Region Association: None |
well....I know the long distance thing I guess...my gf lives in st. george Utah....needless to say....if both of you are determined to make it work...then go for it...I drove over 2000 miles in the last two weeks to see her a few times....and in the previous weeks when she can take time off work she will go and stay with family in vegas so that we can be together every day....it is hard...but when when she runs up to me and wraps her arms around me its all worth it...if you want to make it work and if you think she is best for you, then make the sacrifice and hope for the best. ...you just need to develop trust and have faith....good luck to you
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/beer.gif) Jared... then again I am ten years younger than you.... |
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| Joe Bob |
May 24 2004, 11:02 AM
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#18
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Retired admin, banned a few times Group: Members Posts: 17,427 Joined: 24-December 02 From: Boulder CO Member No.: 5 Region Association: None |
Post pics of her boobs....then I'll let you know if "I" approve.... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)
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| TROJANMAN |
May 24 2004, 11:35 AM
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#19
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Looks nice in pictures......... Group: Members Posts: 5,271 Joined: 5-March 04 From: Colorado Member No.: 1,753 Region Association: None |
QUOTE(ninefourteener @ May 24 2004, 07:07 AM) Ok..... so I had a SERIOUSLY weird weekend. Um..... so yea..... she and 2 of her girlfriends came out to spend the weekend with me. Lets just say I had a REALLY, REALLY good weekend. so you had an orgy? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lol2.gif) seriously though. my wife and I long distanced for about 9 before getting married. we dated before i moved though (and we were long time friends). married 7 years next week (IMG:style_emoticons/default/Yack.gif). i mean (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smlove2.gif) my brother just married a long time friend after a 7 month long distance relationship and no dating. everyone thought he was crazy, but they are in love. so, i think you can pull it off. if youre ready. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/beer.gif) go figure.... my brother and i move to colorado, and we both married girls from our home town in california and moved them out. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/idea.gif) but, that was a true sign of committment, because they moved for us. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/clap56.gif) |
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| SirAndy |
May 24 2004, 12:26 PM
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#20
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Resident German Group: Admin Posts: 41,658 Joined: 21-January 03 From: Oakland, Kalifornia Member No.: 179 Region Association: Northern California |
didn't we just go through the same thing with you a few weeks ago?
you were all "in love" and quick to tell everybody that she likes girls too and then "kabooommm" we had to listen to the whole brake-up crap and brad ended up hitting on her ... whatever makes your banana dance, dude ... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mueba.gif) Andy |
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