I've got a bit of an issue I'd like your opinion on. Awhile back I had to order my race suit, nomex, etc for a September race. The supplier bent over backwards to get me a good deal on the suit and get it shipped to me early enough to be able to try it out at a DE next week. She has been in communication with me and sent me the suit yesterday, so I should be all set. However, I never sent her payment. I fully intended to, but I think she was more worried about getting it out in time and never asked or sent me an invoice.

I need to say that I've lived my life in such a way that I never want to owe anyone anything when I leave this world. I've always paid my way and never asked for charity. Many people have reached out to help me, including many of you (thank you), over the years and refused payment even when I offered.

That being said, I am stretching my meager college budget to the limit with masters courses, an engagement, the 914 and my young-and-dumb racing dream. This suit is a significant investment for me, and needless to say, keeping that money in my pocket wouldn't hurt, fiancially speaking.

This supplier is, from what I understand, a small family business, which makes me feel even more guilty. I know that there are many of you who are in a similar situation. If a customer received goods from you and you didn't ask them for payment, how would you feel if they contacted you to let you know? Is the ball in my court on this one? Should I just wait to get the suit first, see what I think, and then contact her?

Thanks for your opinion!

-George

you really need to ask this question?

You should have just asked me to Borrow a suit.

Click to view attachment

I would Pay Her Now

You need to pay. When you ordered it, you entered an oral contract. Chances are there will be an invoice in the box but regardless, you need to pay.

I have sent parts out to people without an invoice and they have done the same for me. If your word is no good, what's a piece of paper?

Man, now I feel awful. T.C., you know me, I don't ask for handouts and those are collector pieces. But I do appreciate the offer.

I will contact her this afternoon. Please don't think I'm a bad guy. I let my fiance and her demands for a ring get in my head. Forgive me for asking such a stupid question.

Would you really want that kind of Karma as you head onto a race track?

... now I wish this thread would go away.

" I let my fiance and her demands for a ring get in my head. "

This is the start of a long and slippery slope.
Nomex suit? Engagement Ring? Nomex suit? Engagement ring?
NOMEX SUIT!!!!!!!

Doesn't bode well.

you already know the anwser ..instead of typing all this BS ya shoulda been writen out the check ...

You guys are right. I did know the answer, which is more apparent to me when I re-read what I wrote. My fiance grew up a little different than how I did, and I explained to her that just because someone makes a shipping mistake does not mean the item is free. She, like me, I guess is feeling the pressure of being a young couple and trying to get off on the right foot, which is why she suggested not saying anything. As someone who works hard for their money, and despite being burned before by vendors, I know that every dime counts. And my character is something I've always protected, which is why I'll be sending her payment this afternoon. Again, please don't think less of me.

I think you should do the right thing, and pay her.Karma, can be a real bitch.You will feel better, moral Dilemma solved.Actions mean more than words. It sucks to be on a tight budget,but you will find a way to make things work.Jason from PA

Besides, you will need that suit when she sets you on fire for not having the ring she wanted.

If you have morals then you will not have a dilemma...nor would there have even been a post

Morals are like a rubber band. Once they have been stretched they never return back to normal

Good karma for you. You would probably get the bill in the mail anyway.

Easy there. George will do the right thing. Just thinking out loud. No harm, no foul.

No accusations being made. The "you" is third person.


I have never met the young man and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt since he is young. However, as you get older you realize the more someone tells you they have morals, can be trusted, etc. the faster you should run the other way. I often ask, "Who are you trying to convince? You or me?"

I used to know a guy who worked sporadically. So he bought a dog. Used to bother me when he would bring home a 12 pack and smokes and no dog food. Point here is going to the track costs money. So, you got money, else you wouldn't go to track. So, till the suit is paid, there is no need for it. I know lots of people pour their souls out online as letters they've written, never meaning to send. No need to feel bad.

]


I will NEVER do bussiness with you if your so immoral that you need advice on weather it is ok to steal or not. It don't matter if your stealing from a small family bussiness or a huge corporation (whose stock may be owned by poor little old ladies) would you be ok with stealing say a car from a Porsche dealership, after all the dealership probably has more money then you?

Then you go on to say how wealthy you are, your masters degree, your 914 hobby, your racing addition. I dont give a damn if your broke and poor (which you are NOT) you need to pay up.

What an immoral twisted world we live in when an adult (with an infants mind and morality) asks if it is ok to steal, qualifies it by the wealth of the company he is stealing from, and then plays the oh I am poor game dispite your expensive car hobby.

Be a man, sell your car, drop your racing addiction, put off yoru wedding, put off school until you can afford it. get your priorities straight, I sure hope you dont plan to have kids, if you do, I sure hope they have a moral compass about stealing that they wont learn from their so called father.

Shame on you for even thinking about ripping anyone off, small company, large company what ever.

Choose to steal, and I hope your racing hobby ends with the loss of your car(s), you fail school and your lover leaves you for a more moral person, you deserve none of what you have when you think you can steal your way to wealth.

Funny comment, considering who it is coming from ...

You don't know George - he is doing this strickly on a Shoestring - preparing to do ChumpCar Racing. He never said he was Rich.

He know's the answer to thread question, he's going to do the Right Thing, so how about not Jumping on your High Horse.

I ever steal any thing from you? You dont think it is shamefull to steal from a vendor? You may think it is funny, but this is not.

I'll take my lashings like anyone else and its your choice not to do business with me. I am far from wealthy but have never complained about my situation. I feel blessed to be able to work 2 jobs, go to school, hopefully get married and have a hobby on the side and without any kind of outside financial support whatsoever. The money for the suit was set aside some time ago and I have full intention on paying for it, as I have with everything else I've done in my life. I fell into a momentary lapse of judgement because as I have been guilty of my whole life, I have too much on my plate. So thank you for assuring my moral compass is still pointing straight.

As for anyone else who has any question about my character, you may feel free to contact any of the members and vendors here who I have purchased goods from. I am confident that, although I may not be a customer who purchases large or expensive items, I am one who pays in full and promptly. And those who have been generous enough to charitably give to me hopefully can vouch that you will find no one more appreciative.

Again, my most sincere and humble apologies.

High horse??? How about the original poster's low horse question, heck low horse, this guy is in the mud. Yeah most of us dont know george, george asks if it is moral or not to not pay his bills. It is not a high horse answer to slap down his reasoning and excuses as to why he shouldn't pay his bill.

I dont care how broke he thinks he is, he has a lot more than most people. most people dont even own a car, muchless have a racing hobby, and they know it is wrong to not pay their bills.

I guess all the vendors that read his post should demand payment up front with him.

You did jump on your Horse & annointed your Self the Moral Compass.

George had already admitted to his mistake and you felt like piling on. He knew the answer before he Posted this Thread or he would have never Posted. He would have just run like a Weasel and never said anything.

I've just added ape914 to the List of Members never to do Business with (Total of 3 JackAss's)

Thank you all for setting me straight.

George, Forget the ape. Your gonna meet lots of people in your life that think they know it all, and think that everyone should do everything the way they tell you to do it. There is not a person on this or any other board that has not had immoral feelings about something or other in their life. Not one! If you think otherwise, you are only fooling your self. We are human. we all have feelings, and we are all sinners. Yes, I used a religious text. How you deal with the feelings you have is what makes you moral or immoral. You are trying to do the right thing by your new fiance with a nice ring. A ring is just a symbol of your love, not the love itself. If I give my bride a 100 dollar ring, does that mean I love her less than the guy next door who gives his bride a 10,000 dollar ring? No. The expensive ring can wait. If she can't wait for it, and wanted me to go against what I have learned as right and wrong, that would be a red flag to me. You posed a question, and got several answers. I know you had the right answer when you asked. have your lady read this thread. I'll bet she will feel the same.


Mr. Ape, You seem to be the one of the first ones here to treat other people with disdain and a general lack of respect. I have seen nothing from you to command my respect. I don't think you are above anyone here. I have had a theft problem here at my shop (its been taken care of by the way) that I posted about. Not once in either of those threads did I degrade, or call names, yet you choose to slander someone you don't even know. Please answer one question for the members here. Are you really as perfect a person as you perceive yourself to be?

I leave with final thought, "judge not lest ye be judged your self".

BTW, IBTL.

Carr, mind printing the names of the other two? I know, I'm really stiring the pot.

go to the post office today and send the check, no...a postal money order in a next day delivery envelope. the po is prob open til 6pm. consider the next day fees a "lapse in judgement tax". apologize profusely and let them know when to expect it after you send it. that should be a 6:30 pm phone call at the latest. jmho. i'd tell my sons the same thing, but not as nicely.

k

Leason of the day, neverost anything on the ingernet that you would post on a billboard in your front yard and sign it!

Quick note. I did not mention that I had offered to pay this vendor LAST week BEFORE she even received the suit from the manufacturer. She told me to hold off until she was ready to ship. She then shipped it yesteday without my knowing, very graciously. I did offer to pay for the goods prior to them ever reaching the vendor and have e-mails to prove it.

Time for this thread to go away . His question was asked & answered. Weather it was a good one or not. Let's make it go away & stop all the extra

There are to many threads going off base & negative. It's turning off many good members. How about if you have something negative to say. You say it at the least in a PM to that person directly . Sometimes people may need to hear a negative comment. The whole flippin World does not

Someone should delete this thread, and we should all give the kid a break who is learning through his mistakes.

Like we all haven't made mistakes.

Can I "IBTL" my own thread?

I respect the fact that you posted your 'dilemma' to the forum, and then realized you knew the answer all along. This is part of growth. The next time you're faced with a similar situation, you'll know the answer intuitively. Doing the right thing gets easier the more you practice it.

I think it's noteworthy that of all the responses to this thread, only one has seen fit to take a position of moral superiority. I would trust the person who asks a potentially embarrassing question far sooner than a self-righteous, holier-than-thou prig.

the tidbit in post #32 detailing the actual conversation/s with the vendor changes the whole tone of your thread.

I bet "ape" is already on your list albeit under his previous alias that earned him a timeout from this site.

Might be time to nail down a "How do we deal with banned members that sign up under a different name and resume posting" rule.

I thought he was a little harsh for such a "new" member.

IBTL

I must disagree about the thread being locked. He asked a question. He is young and seeking the wisdom of those that have experienced and learned the life lessons he has not. That is how we learn. Whether it be car stuff or life lessons. We solve all kind of problems here, not just car stuff. Besides, it was car related.

George, you can feel free to pm me anytime about anything.

Have you guys set a wedding date yet? Maybe you could have the wedding with a live stream so we all could be there? How bout a few thousand folks with 914's at your wedding?

Well, now it all makes sense.

Yeah, skip the tuxedos too. Fire suits for all the groomsmen!

Curt, though I have never met you, I value your opinions over many of the people I've known for quite some time. As far as the live stream at the wedding, good idea, but NO FREAKING WAY. Because for every one of you great guys who would we watching and commenting there would be the one bad apple that would ruin the whole thing. The same ones criticising me would be the same ones trying to scope my bride. I will however look forward to meeting any of you in person whenever I have the chance. Tropical Ramble is gonna be a blast.

Invitation only?

If everyone used their real name and location, there might be less time outs and deleted/locked threads.

Some one pm me who ape914 was/is.

I dont recognize him from the asshat anonomis club

Yes, I would be the one checking out the bride. The rest of you guys can scope the groom.

His previous alias rhymes with dementia ...