$200 for a pair of jeans seems outrageous to me. They're just jeans. Unless they have gold inlay, I don't think any jeans are worth over $40 or $50. Call me cheap. I prefer practicality and function. The metrosexual man with tres expensive jeans is probably also prettier than his girlfriend.

YMMV,

Jen

I just open my zipper....bada bump.....

Here...pull my finger....

I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!!! 914 CLUB RULES!!!!!!

I found this article on another technical forum and we were all bitching about it. It so far has boiled down to a discussion about knives and the number of shallow women that we could pick up by doing this.

Anyway this thread has gone a lot further than I expected. I am laughing my ass off at the responses. SInce I am the type that doesn't leave the garage very often the tips are appreciated. They don't want me in public but they damn sure want me workin on their race cars, go figure.

Thanks for all the input.

Penis Pump!! has to be in the top five....

Don't forget the flavored lube...

i do have to agree with ditching the black leather couch. first things first, you should be working up a sweat. and it sucks when your balls stick to the couch
just an aside from a guy recently removed from the dating pool

Dude, just clean your house, and then you got to start with some "confidence builder" girls.

And just talk to them. Try not to act desparate, unless she tells you she gets off on that.

Ohh, it helps if you don't live with your parents.

Just try to relax, and maybe unload the gun before you head out. Keep you thinking straight.

Eventually move up the ladder to the more challenging girls, and stay lose.

Don't bust out the nice ride on the first date. Borrow a friend's Civic or something, Don't even mention you have a porsche. I had a girl once tell me on the second date she only went out with me the second time because she wanted to see my ride. Nice of her to make the 3rd date choice easy for me.

I've got a good story, I was taking this class and a guy was telling me about his escapades...

He is about 50, lives at home and doesn't really want to get a real job besides odd jobs for his friends. Anyhow he snuck in his girlfriend on the front patio/AZ room (enclosed patio). So he and her are going at it, and all of a sudden his father pops in (who is at least 70, if not older) and catches them in the act. He said he thought one of the dogs was dying and he was trying to figure out what was going on.

that was funny enough, until he told us all that he got grounded.

1. Butter

2. Nail Clippers

Instead of spending all that money on jeans and sheets and crap, just go to Craigslist and pick one of the call girls listed on there. It will cost you less and it's gauranteed to get you laid. They dont care what you wear, what kind of sheets you have and they wont be waking up with you in the morning so you dont have to worry about the coffee.

On another note, if a girl is that materialistic, do you really want her to spend time with you and turn you into a gay guy?

I can cook, better than most women I have dated, I only wear 501's, despite my garage appearance, I like my house clean and organized so I know where everything is at. My sheets are new and soft enough for me. I carry a Leatherman Micra all the time and I dont drink coffee. If a woman is that materialistic, I sure dont want to marry her, hell, I may not even want to have her over.

I have a $400 pair of Bruno Magli shoes ... but I only paid $150 for them. Do they count?

I gots:

couch
lamp
espresso machine
shoes
boxer briefs
regular sheets
cook books
Levi 501s ($30)
three porsches
two extra sets of wheels and car parts cluttering the garage
and a yard that needs weeding (not enough time in the day for the important stuff and doing chores :-) )


I'm no where near being a metrosexual. I'm more of t-shirts, jeans, cabernet, and pizza guy. I guess you can call that a renaissance man!

QUOTE (Hawktel @ Jun 21 2005, 07:54 PM)

Just try to relax, and maybe unload the gun before you head out. Keep you thinking straight.

This one had me on the floor.

Some other points along the same line.

1. Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction.

2. Keep your finger off the trigger.

3. Always handle a strange gun as if it were loaded.

4. Clean your gun after use.

Firearm safety is very important.

Get a lamp like this!!!!

Betty has a co-worker who's husband is an artist. We did them a favor, so we got this as a gift.

I took a look at it, and commented that the air filter it's made from looked like the one for my 914/6. I went and got the brand new filter for my /6 and put it on. Gives the lamp an Orange tone.

Without the flash...

[QUOTE]the guys that never give a sh*t, had women hanging all over them all the time. One was a best buddy....I used to just shake my head in dis-belief. The more he didn't care about them, the more they had to have him!! Old jeans, wrinkled clothes, messy apartment, and all. He'd even ask them to stop by the market on the way over (he rarely troubled himself to go there) and pick up a couple of steaks!! Didn't hurt that he had the looks...........

It works for me...

Sounds like we have a few nutsack-swingers here. I am getting some good laughs out of this thread.

So what is it about a woman or her place that turns you off? No light by the bed? Scratchy sheets? Cheap jeans?

Long, long ago in my single days it was dirty bathrooms that did me in. Especially if there was a dirty litter box in it.

QUOTE (scruz914 @ Jun 21 2005, 05:24 PM)

Sounds like we have a few nutsack-swingers here. I am getting some good laughs out of this thread. So what is it about a woman or her place that turns you off? No light by the bed? Scratchy sheets? Cheap jeans? Long, long ago in my single days it was dirty bathrooms that did me in. Especially if there was a dirty litter box in it.

Deal breakers...

1. Poor personal hygiene.

2. Third leg

3. Poor personal hygiene.

Just remember:

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her shit!

QUOTE (Rick_Eberle @ Jun 21 2005, 09:53 PM)

Just remember: No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her shit!

No greater wisdom has been spoken

That's my brother's line...

"Show me the hottest chick in the world, and somewhere, there is a guy that's sick of f%$king her."

Fuzzy toilet seat covers....hate them.

Why is it that every woman I have dated has this insane desire to decorate the toilet?

Couch, jeans, lamps...(uncontrollable laughter).

Go out and find the most obnoxious woman you can possibly imagine.
Buy her a house.
You're done.

QUOTE (RAR @ Jun 21 2005, 06:46 PM)

Couch, jeans, lamps...(uncontrollable laughter). Go out and find the most obnoxious woman you can possibly imagine. Buy her a house. You're done.

knock her up and give her a grand or so every month for eighteen years

Sometimes I think it would be easier to be gay....then I realize I hate men, too...

QUOTE (ClayPerrine @ Jun 21 2005, 06:14 PM)

Without the flash...

When you turn it on, does it make sucking sounds?

Does that rule out a bug zapper light in the living room for entertainment??

it's if something is not "you" it's fake and anything fake sucks(except boobs, dig the fake boobs)


if you have to GET RID of something, or GET something for a woman, you are looking for the wrong woman... the right one will put up with you the way you are... the rest are only fun for a little bit until they start trying to "fix" you...

QUOTE (Travis Neff @ Jun 21 2005, 08:36 PM)

Does that rule out a bug zapper light in the living room for entertainment??

NO, that's a good thing...iffin' ya hear a zap, it's time to warm up the car.........

QUOTE

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her shit!

Okay, here goes....
1. Coffee: maybe she would appreciate the fact that I don't pollute my body with drugs?
2. Lamp: Yes, I do have one but it is sitting on the floor because my X got the bed stand. Does that count?
3. Swiffer: come on now. These things will be gone faster than the salad shooter.
4. Sofa: I agree, get one that does not look like a hand me down from mom.
5. Underware: Heck, just don't wear any....they love that and it cuts down on the laundry load and is cost effective too.
6. Keychain knife: Just don't take it thru the airport. That won't impress her.
7. $150 jeans: I have been told I have a great butt in Levis ($26 on sale at Sears)
8. $200 dress shoes: I agree here. Buy expensive Cole Haan's or Perry Ellis. You will be noticed.
9. 300 count sheets: I agree, nice cotton for the summer and quality Eddie Bauer flannels for the winter with a down comforter. You will never get her out of bed.
10. Joy of cooking: Just tell her you use Epicurious.com She will be impressed you know how to use your computer for other things besides porn.

Another thing I would like to add in all seriousness....Learn a dance. Latin for younger women and Ballroom for the over 40 type. Every woman wants to look good on a dance floor and she can't do it without a Lead! You will have a steady stream of woman coming up and asking you to dance. Guaranteed to make Mr. Happy very happy

Great thread. Being older and more experienced, I feel my contribution is necessary to save you from heading down the wrong road. Most of what is posted here is Mad Avenue hype and BS. Don't buy into it!
Guys: Style is less important than personal, residential, and vehicular hygiene. You can get away with the orange Barca Lounger, or the one shirt you can't throw away, but not a dirty toilet or the tire tracks on your shorts.
Ladies: We love you, and almost anything is OK, but PLEASE! No toilet seat frillies that make the cover fall mid pee.
Giant cucumbers or fake knockers just attract the wrong types. And be sincere, even if you don't mean it
I have written a short book, Everything I know about women that you may want to peruse.

From my experience you need nothing on that list. Then again I'm an excellent cook and can hold my breath for periods longer then 10 minutes at a time

Mike D.

i wear pants around $50 to $80 but i have actually been told by woman how come i dont wear pants with holes in em very funny.

QUOTE (Howard @ Jun 21 2005, 09:03 PM)

And be sincere, even if you don't mean it     I have written a short book, Everything I know about women that you may want to peruse.

Haven't had a chance to read this whole thread....will try after work tomorrow...but Howard...you are hilarious!

Also...based on the few posts I have read....most REAL women just want an honest guy with a big dick. (did I really say that )

Lisa

QUOTE (Howard @ Jun 21 2005, 08:03 PM)

Great thread. Being older and more experienced, I feel my contribution is necessary to save you from heading down the wrong road. Most of what is posted here is Mad Avenue hype and BS. Don't buy into it! Guys: Style is less important than personal, residential, and vehicular hygiene. You can get away with the orange Barca Lounger, or the one shirt you can't throw away, but not a dirty toilet or the tire tracks on your shorts. Ladies: We love you, and almost anything is OK, but PLEASE! No toilet seat frillies that make the cover fall mid pee. Giant cucumbers or fake knockers just attract the wrong types. And be sincere, even if you don't mean it I have written a short book, Everything I know about women that you may want to peruse.

Howie,
bad link............
wanna learn.................... LOL

My 5 minutes worth of input.


1. waffle iron.
Steve McQueen said it all.

2. A lamp in your bedroom
LIght is good for sex. And most video cameras under $50 need a light source.
It also helps with bruises on the shins.

3. handi wipes
girls know what they are for.

5. Nice underwear
Just dont wear them.
They are decoration for your top drawer.

6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything
good for cans of vegetarian refried beans.


7. $150+ jeans
dude, ripped jeans are about not having money. dont pay for that crap.
Go to the thrift store and get what you need. Trust me, its cool.

8. $200+ dress shoes
Nothing like a pair of handmade shoes.
Johnny Moke was good. So was Patrick Cox back in the day. Nowadays you need to call up Daniel Day Lewis. I hear his schooling was good before Gangs of New York.

9. 300-thread-count cotton sheets
Dont buy that BS. Just get PIMA, its all the same.

10. The Joy of Cooking
Buy some Madhur Jaffrey, the rest will come naturally.


and for fooks sake, just be yourself. She'll find you.
and maybe buy a guitar like i did.

brer

1977 Gibson Mk. uhh... II...


M

What kind of neanderthal DOESN'T have a lamp or coffee maker?

I might be a slouch on the couch with my pouch falling out.
Or fine as we dine on the floor all the time.
My girlfriend likes the way I smell.
How can I tell?
She ain't said "go to hell!"

QUOTE (Dave Eddy @ Jun 22 2005, 07:07 AM)

What kind of neanderthal DOESN'T have a lamp or coffee maker?

Someone who doesn't drink coffee????

QUOTE (Howard @ Jun 21 2005, 08:03 PM)

..................Everything I know about women.........

Hmm. Apparently not much................the link doesn't work.

Thanks for the advice about sincerity. I really mean that.


Andrew

Total B.S. -
Everybody knows there are no sheets in Alabama.

QUOTE (Jenny @ Jun 21 2005, 02:01 PM)

$200 for a pair of jeans seems outrageous to me. They're just jeans. Unless they have gold inlay, I don't think any jeans are worth over $40 or $50. Call me cheap. I prefer practicality and function. The metrosexual man with tres expensive jeans is probably also prettier than his girlfriend. YMMV, Jen

I'm with you, Jenny. Holy Crap, I don't think I've ever paid more than $40 for a pair of jeans, but then I buy my jeans at Walmart. They are the only place where I can find jeans that fit me in all the right places (basically, jeans that fit women who have women figures, not boy figures). It sucks having a size 4 waist and size 8 ass.

QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 07:05 AM)

It sucks having a size 4 waist and size 8 ass.

And what a nice ass it is.....

QUOTE (Sir Fartalot @ Jun 22 2005, 10:08 AM)

QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 07:05 AM) It sucks having a size 4 waist and size 8 ass. And what a nice ass it is.....

it certainly sounds like it...

QUOTE (Steve Thacker @ Jun 21 2005, 06:02 PM)

QUOTE (Rick_Eberle @ Jun 21 2005, 09:53 PM) Just remember: No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her shit! No greater wisdom has been spoken

You know, this really hurts...what if "she" were tired of putting up with "his" shit?

QUOTE (Howard @ Jun 21 2005, 08:03 PM)

Ladies: We love you, and almost anything is OK, but PLEASE! No toilet seat frillies that make the cover fall mid pee.

ROFLMAO!!! I have to agree with this one. I know it is worse for guys, but it's not much better for women when we are sitting trying to do our business and the damn lid keeps banging us in the back.

QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 08:11 AM)

QUOTE (Steve Thacker @ Jun 21 2005, 06:02 PM) QUOTE (Rick_Eberle @ Jun 21 2005, 09:53 PM) Just remember: No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her shit! No greater wisdom has been spoken You know, this really hurts...what if "she" were tired of putting up with "his" shit?

"She" makes him do his own laundry!

Women are really cool until you say "I do". That's their official signal to bash everything that you are and signal the beginning of "I'm gonna make you a better person".

QUOTE (SLITS @ Jun 22 2005, 10:16 AM)

QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 08:11 AM) QUOTE (Steve Thacker @ Jun 21 2005, 06:02 PM) QUOTE (Rick_Eberle @ Jun 21 2005, 09:53 PM) Just remember: No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her shit! No greater wisdom has been spoken You know, this really hurts...what if "she" were tired of putting up with "his" shit? "She" makes him do his own laundry! Women are really cool until you say "I do". That's their official signal to bash everything that you are and signal the beginning of "I'm gonna make you a better person".

men try to fix cars, and women try to fix men... neither know what they are doing...

QUOTE ("7" @ Jun 22 2005, 07:56 AM)

Total B.S. - Everybody knows there are no sheets in Alabama.

Don't y'all have sheets to wear to your meetings?

QUOTE (Sir Fartalot @ Jun 22 2005, 07:08 AM)

QUOTE (Lyressa Roberts @ Jun 22 2005, 07:05 AM) It sucks having a size 4 waist and size 8 ass. And what a nice ass it is.....

You've seen my ass?

Hehehe