So there I was, minding my own business fooling with the front calipers on my Benz in my fenced in lot behind the auto parts store in the ghetto when all of the sudden I hear someone climbing the back fence. I look up to see a guy about 18-21 climbing the fence and I yell at him to get down and not to come into my yard. All of the sudden, I noticed the deputy chasing him and the deputy yels to me, "stop him!" I am thinking, "ya fucken right, what if he is armed?" Well, the guy gets over the first fence as the cop starts up it and preoceeds to run through my yard putting my 4-Runner between him and I. The thug makes it to the other fence which is only about 50 yds away, with the locked gate (I lock the gate becasue people like to sneak up on my when I am working) and begins to scale it. The deputy is almost summitting the first fence and still screaming for me to stop him at this time. I figured that the thug was half way up the fence and thus his hands were busy and decide that now was my best time to strike. I jumped up, ran to the fence, grabbed the thug by the leg as his hands were reaching over the top of the fence, and yanked the sob off of the fence and down to the ground. He gets to his feet and i am standing there now thinking, "Fuck, what the hell is taking the cop so damn long!?" Mean while, I have my hands balled up in fists and am looking at this guy like if he trys anything I am gonna beat his ass. I told him, "Don't fuck with me!" and he said, "alright, fine, ya'll got me. Sheeit." Finally the cop gets to him gasping and none to pleased. Now the thug decides that he is gonna start resisting the cop. The cop has his ASP out and tells the thug, "you better cooperate or you are gonna get beat!" Finally he gets him on the ground and starts to cuff him as his back up arrives. After taking my info they do a search of the path that he took through the yard and find a big bag of pot, and a vial of hash oil. The sarge, a white guy and stereotypical cracker dick was like, "You were probably gonna hide that and save it for later." He then said to his multinational deputies, "see, us white guys are good for some things even though there are not manny of us around 'here'." Ass I asked what the guy was suspected of doing and the sarge said, "Oh, he did it. We don't chase innocent people." Prick.

Anyway, that was about the time I decided to go home and work there. I hope to have my car out of there tomarrow as I am sort of afraid of retaliation as I am about 1 mile down the road from gang central for San Diego. I don't want to work there any more. The local fauna are all a bunch a degenerates and people with nothing to lose and everything to prove.

Oh ya, after all was said and done the first deputy comes up to me to thank me and says, "ya, I was worried that he was going for a knife or a gun when you yanked him off of the fence." Brilliant! Remind me then why you requested that I stop him? In hind sight, I think that I woudl have let him go. It wasn't worth the risk.

ML,

you will be safe in PA. repeat as needed.

jbb

So, when did you ditch the pot, and the hash oil? When you ran to the fence?

You need a big dog named GUN.


M

yeah and i'm sure somebody could make a gun holster for you. Get a "sleeper" dog....a small dog that when commanded to, will bute and chew the shit out of whatever is bugging you. Then after he eats the bad guy, you pick him up, pet him on the head, and put him in his holder on your waste.

QUOTE

and a vial of hash oil

hm I think that brings back memories or does it?

QUOTE (TimT @ Jul 1 2005, 06:25 AM)

QUOTE and a vial of hash oil hm I think that brings back memories or does it?

i lived under the stairs of my basement for most of my life. No memories here

QUOTE (bd1308 @ Jul 1 2005, 06:21 AM)

yeah and i'm sure somebody could make a gun holster for you. Get a "sleeper" dog....a small dog that when commanded to, will bute and chew the shit out of whatever is bugging you. Then after he eats the bad guy, you pick him up, pet him on the head, and put him in his holder on your waste.

I worked at an auto shop in a somewhat bad part of town years ago. The owner hired a company that hired out dogs for protection of lots. He was really suprised when the guy showed up with 35 chicuhuahuas!

The guy said that he used to use rottweilers and dobermans, but he found that the bad guys would cap the dog, and then go about their business. Kinda hard to shoot 35 little dogs with a 6 shot revolver. He said the dogs were great. No one takes them seriously, and properly traineed, the little dogs are like a pack of piranahs. Stick one leg in, and it's chewed to the bone in seconds!!!

Dealing with law enforcement...always a pleasure....

As a going away present, Miles and I have pitched in for these strippers....

Uhhh Mikey...

Hate to inform you of this, but nobody wants your sloppy seconds.

Ok....talked me into it...you can have the cute one on the right....

Nope. Not interested. Quite happy with my wife.


I will leave them for you to take care of.

And how would I do that????

They're too fat to drown....they prolly pop back up to the surface....

First a drive by shooting, and now a chase.

I knew that just because I was paranoid, it didn't mean the place was safe.

Glad to hear you are OK.

What you going to do when then come for you! Have a safe and Happy 4th.....

To add injury to insult, I sprained my right thumb when I grab the thugs leg

It was nice when the female cop was taking down my info she asked me for my work number. I told her that I didn't have one. She was like, "you don't work?" with this sort of condesention. I was like, "no, I don't. I am a grad student going to med school." But, I was infront of her, covered in grease, haddent shaved for like a week. I did look like the poster boy for white trash, but come on. I just helped them catch their guy.

QUOTE (Jeff Bonanno @ Jul 1 2005, 02:20 AM)

ML, you will be safe in PA. repeat as needed. jbb

This was my second thought. No more hood rats in the welcoming woods of Hershey

My first thought, oddly enough, was, "You dumb ass, don't you have a mama whos heart you don't want to break!?" You know that the thugs mother, if around, is gonna be real proud of what her son has become.

QUOTE (bd1308 @ Jul 1 2005, 05:21 AM)

yeah and i'm sure somebody could make a gun holster for you. Get a "sleeper" dog....a small dog that when commanded to, will bute and chew the shit out of whatever is bugging you. Then after he eats the bad guy, you pick him up, pet him on the head, and put him in his holder on your waste.

This referance is lost on me. What?

QUOTE (Dr Evil @ Jul 1 2005, 08:25 AM)

QUOTE (bd1308 @ Jul 1 2005, 05:21 AM) yeah and i'm sure somebody could make a gun holster for you. Get a "sleeper" dog....a small dog that when commanded to, will bute and chew the shit out of whatever is bugging you. Then after he eats the bad guy, you pick him up, pet him on the head, and put him in his holder on your waste. This referance is lost on me. What?

i think britt was the perp who hopped the fence....or at least is hopped up on something

QUOTE (ClayPerrine @ Jul 1 2005, 05:49 AM)

I worked at an auto shop in a somewhat bad part of town years ago. The owner hired a company that hired out dogs for protection of lots. He was really suprised when the guy showed up with 35 chicuhuahuas!

That's hillarious and I believe every word of it. From my experience weiner dogs are mean little suckers.

Doc,

What I think is hilarious is the fact that the cops were such pricks, but they don't chase innocent people. If I had the extra dough, I go bail the guy out if I were you.

maybe buy him a beer. The pot was medicinal wasn't it???? Oh yeah thats illegal too now. So stop prescribing it.

Erik

Way to open a can of whoop ass on him man! I public justice!

damn dude, glad that it worked out... too bad you had to deal with real pig pricks... at least you're ok... did you get the female cop's number?


yea, I have to say... if 35 little taco-bell dogs came after me... I'd be more scared than 1 rottie... those are pissed off little dogs! I'm convinced that they are really dobermans under a really tight skin, which is why their eyes are popping out... think about it... if your undewear was 9 sizes too small, you'd be pissy too!

QUOTE (jonwatts @ Jul 1 2005, 07:31 AM)

QUOTE (ClayPerrine @ Jul 1 2005, 05:49 AM) I worked at an auto shop in a somewhat bad part of town years ago. The owner hired a company that hired out dogs for protection of lots.  He was really suprised when the guy showed up with 35 chicuhuahuas!   That's hillarious and I believe every word of it. From my experience weiner dogs are mean little suckers.

Got six ready for training....

QUOTE (Manfred Z @ Jul 1 2005, 09:38 AM)

QUOTE (jonwatts @ Jul 1 2005, 07:31 AM) QUOTE (ClayPerrine @ Jul 1 2005, 05:49 AM) I worked at an auto shop in a somewhat bad part of town years ago. The owner hired a company that hired out dogs for protection of lots.  He was really suprised when the guy showed up with 35 chicuhuahuas!   That's hillarious and I believe every word of it. From my experience weiner dogs are mean little suckers. Got six ready for training....

I'm not training them... I am scared shitless of the meal little suckers. I like big dogs, but the little ones are mean, sneaky bastards. Only time I ever got bit by a dog was whe I was trying to collect for newspapers. Guy had a pekenese on the porch sleeping. I just stepped past it and rang the doorbell. Little sucker didn't bark once, just laid those sharp fangs into my right achllies tendon. He opened the door in time to see me drop kick the dog into his front yard.

Never did collect for those papers, and never delivered another one to him.

As for that shop, I would wait until the guard dog company came and picked up the dogs before I would go inside. I am not stupid......

Hey Guys,

I understand there's a business in Detroit's tough neighborhood that has a big sign posted on the building. "Protected by Poison Rattlesnakes"

The owner has them caged during the day so everyone see's them. He then turns a few loose during off hours. He's never had a break-in after that.

Bad guys don't like snakes crawling up their pant legs at night.

Tom

Too bad they are cold blooded, sleep at night, hibernate in the winter and are sluggish in the cold...otherwise gud idea...

Fuck chasing perps, that's why they make rock-salt shells.

Invest in a Mozzberg or Remington. With a shot of rock salt in ya... Where you goin'? No where...

My vote would be use tamed skunks. There is something about a skunk that invokes a primal response in everyone. Just seeing a skunk will stop all higher brain functions and make a person run face first into a tree at a dead run.


Plus, they could find the bad guys by the smell (and by watching the stores for mass purchases of tomato juice).

not to mention that you practically have to step on them to get them to bite... which is how most people get bit... they don't see them in time...

now, you can have a nice surround sound system play a rattlesnake's rattle... and get the same effect... it's a scary sound when you are close enough to hear it well...

I had a 9' python in my bedroom in college.. it wouldn't attack anyhthing except mice... but even in a cage, that freaked people out...

Hey Manfred Z

If I was a bad guy breaking into a bldg. & see the sign about snakes. I'd go next door for my break-in.

Nobody likes snakes.

Tom

The sign WAS a gud idea....just the snakes aren't....but then again, most burglars aren't high up on the IQ elevator.....

Well, if you want to talk about sounds in security, I tell women that all they really need is a pump action shot gun, no ammo, just the gun, the sound it makes when you slide the slide back is very distinct and will scare the hell out of anyone breaking into your home. Think about it, you are sneaking in through a window and you hear that noise, what do you do? I vote get out as quickly as possible and get the hell out of there.

QUOTE (Dr Evil @ Jul 1 2005, 12:52 AM)

Oh ya, after all was said and done the first deputy comes up to me to thank me and says, "ya, I was worried that he was going for a knife or a gun when you yanked him off of the fence." Brilliant! Remind me then why you requested that I stop him? In hind sight, I think that I woudl have let him go. It wasn't worth the risk.

I'm glad the perp didn't fall off that fence and crack his head open. He'd be suing you tomorrow for damages.

QUOTE (skline @ Jul 1 2005, 10:55 AM)

Well, if you want to talk about sounds in security, I tell women that all they really need is a pump action shot gun, no ammo, just the gun, the sound it makes when you slide the slide back is very distinct and will scare the hell out of anyone breaking into your home. Think about it, you are sneaking in through a window and you hear that noise, what do you do? I vote get out as quickly as possible and get the hell out of there.

I only disagree on one point of your statement. Load the shotgun with 00 buckshot. If you get some badass that doesn't get scared by the shotgun slide noise, then you need to have it loaded to be able to take the sob out.


My favorite quote applies in this situation: "There is nothing more worthless than an unloaded gun."

QUOTE (anthony @ Jul 1 2005, 10:05 AM)

QUOTE (Dr Evil @ Jul 1 2005, 12:52 AM) Oh ya, after all was said and done the first deputy comes up to me to thank me and says, "ya, I was worried that he was going for a knife or a gun when you yanked him off of the fence." Brilliant! Remind me then why you requested that I stop him? In hind sight, I think that I woudl have let him go. It wasn't worth the risk. I'm glad the perp didn't fall off that fence and crack his head open. He'd be suing you tomorrow for damages.

I was wondering about that. If I was ordered by the cop to stop the guy, and he was on my rented property, does that still make me liable? If so, I guess the next step would be to sue the cop for giving me unlawful orders. I hate litigious society

Cloudbuster said:

QUOTE

I knew that just because I was paranoid, it didn't mean the place was safe.

The fact that you're paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't trying to get you...

Harvey

"What? Me? Paranoid?"

"Who's asking and why do you want to know?"

Your only paranoid if you are wrong

QUOTE (ClayPerrine @ Jul 1 2005, 12:08 PM)

My favorite quote applies in this situation: "There is nothing more worthless than an unloaded gun."

that makes a GUN into a stick...

Just because your paranoid doan mean no one is following you....

BTW, rock salt, bird shot then Double O.....if they keep coming after that...they deserve to shit out a bag the rest of their life....assuming they survive...

QUOTE (Manfred Z @ Jul 1 2005, 01:01 PM)

Just because your paranoid doan mean no one is following you.... BTW, rock salt, bird shot then Double O.....if they keep coming after that...they deserve to shit out a bag the rest of their life....assuming they survive...

12Ga 00 buckshot first. If they keep coming after that, 12Ga slug throught their 10 ring.

yea, the whole concept of 'warning' shots is lost on me.. If I have to pull the gun out, I'm aiming to do damage, not just 'scare'... they break in, they are asking me to do my worst...

hey alfie, you cocksucker!

a guy high on drugs broke my mom's front window. got into the front rooom. mom had a broom in her hand beat the shit out of the guy. cops told her she hurt poor guy. she should have just called them
we got mom a new broom the old one was in bad shape.

Ah nothing like a visit from our least favorite racist. Damn now why can't that guy die in an experimental airplane crash

QUOTE (tdgray @ Jul 1 2005, 01:55 PM)

Ah nothing like a visit from our least favorite racist. Damn now why can't that guy die in an experimental airplane crash

I took care of him.

He's gone for now.. Next time just ignore him and let one of the admins know via PM. We will get rid of him.

man... i missed the alfred attack again!

why does all the fun stuff happen when i'm not around?

i'm gonna take my ball and go home now and sit in my wifes brand new minivan......

QUOTE (Dr Evil @ Jul 1 2005, 10:27 AM)

QUOTE (anthony @ Jul 1 2005, 10:05 AM) I'm glad the perp didn't fall off that fence and crack his head open. He'd be suing you tomorrow for damages. I was wondering about that. If I was ordered by the cop to stop the guy, and he was on my rented property, does that still make me liable? If so, I guess the next step would be to sue the cop for giving me unlawful orders. I hate litigious society

I'm pretty sure you could be found liable for pulling someone off a fence. Even on your own property you can only defend yourself if you are being threatened. Touching someone, shooting them, whatever isn't legal just because they are on your property.

This is why they always say to shoot to kill (assuming you are shooting someone on your property) because most likely they will sue you if they survive. Sad but true.

QUOTE (anthony @ Jul 1 2005, 04:07 PM)

QUOTE (Dr Evil @ Jul 1 2005, 10:27 AM) QUOTE (anthony @ Jul 1 2005, 10:05 AM) I'm glad the perp didn't fall off that fence and crack his head open. He'd be suing you tomorrow for damages. I was wondering about that. If I was ordered by the cop to stop the guy, and he was on my rented property, does that still make me liable? If so, I guess the next step would be to sue the cop for giving me unlawful orders. I hate litigious society I'm pretty sure you could be found liable for pulling someone off a fence. Even on your own property you can only defend yourself if you are being threatened. Touching someone, shooting them, whatever isn't legal just because they are on your property. This is why they always say to shoot to kill (assuming you are shooting someone on your property) because most likely they will sue you if they survive. Sad but true.

is that a Ca. rule? in TX, on your property is tresspassing and you can subdue someone... esp. if a cop is there telling you to stop them...

now, me, I don't know if I would do it even if a cop told me too... he should be in better shape than me to catch him...

In CA, anybody can sue you for anything. You might be victorious in court but it will cost you a lot to defend yourself.

The question is what does subdue mean? Can you tackle to them to ground and break their arm in the process? Knock them off your fence so that they crack their head on the ground when they land?

Unless someone is physically threatening you, just call the cops and let them deal with it. If someone is stealing a $20 shovel from your shed think twice before you hit them over the head with a baseball bat. If they survive you'll be sued. If you cripple them for life they may win a big settlement from your insurance, a civil case against you, and/or put a lien on your property and wages. Even if you ultimately beat them in court, you'll spend a small fortune defending yourself.