virgin on prom night?

South American soccer player

Z's shorts

.... faster than Paris Hilton in a Dallas Cowboys locker room..

..a White House Intern.

howard bending over to pick up a a piece of a ferrari

914 up a jackstand.

quicker than you can say:

" the PHP5 ISAPI Filter DLL is a buggy piece of shit!"


anyone know of a bug-free version of PHP? haha, must be an oximoron ...

god, i *HATE* PHP ... bunch of loser college kid snot nose idiot programmers ...
they should all be shot. dammit.

I HATE PHP

yes, i do feel better now, thanks for asking,
Andy

A puppies peter

I feel your pain but...PHP isn't that bad come on! Have you messed with the INI files to tailor the config for the BBS? That can make a huge difference.....

brad told me you are an ASP guru....

North-Eastern Nine-Fourteen undergoing the "Big-Butt Test".

The direction of this thread

faster than a fat kid on cake

ini file?













dude ...

just trying to help! One of the more common environment problems with PHP. I will shut up now...


what is a "Big-Butt Test"?

faster than.......Gerry Cooney

Than Monica Luinski

you think THAT is a INI problem ???

============================================
The HTTP server encountered an unhandled exception while processing the ISAPI Application '
php5ts!_efree + 0x8A
php5ts!get_zend_version + 0x26E
php5ts!php_request_shutdown + 0x377
php5isapi!HttpExtensionProc + 0x438
wam!HSE_APPDLL::ExecuteRequest(class WAM_EXEC_INFO *) + 0x3B
wam!WAM::InvokeExtension(class HSE_BASE *,char const *,class WAM_EXEC_INFO *) + 0x35
wam!WAM::ProcessRequest(struct IWamRequest *,unsigned long,int *,int *) + 0x11D
w3svc!CWamInfo::ProcessWamRequest(class HTTP_REQUEST *,struct EXEC_DESCRIPTOR *,class STR const *,int *,int *) + 0x68
w3svc!WAM_DICTATOR::ProcessWamRequest(class HTTP_REQUEST *,struct EXEC_DESCRIPTOR *,class STR const *,int *,int *) + 0xD2
w3svc!HTTP_REQUEST::DoWamRequest(struct EXEC_DESCRIPTOR *,class STR const &,int *,int *) + 0x50
w3svc!HTTP_REQUEST::ProcessBGI(struct EXEC_DESCRIPTOR *,int *,int *,int) + 0x10D
w3svc!HTTP_REQUEST::DoWork(int *) + 0x3E5
w3svc!CLIENT_CONN::DoWork(unsigned long,unsigned long,int) + 0xFE
w3svc!CreateClient(struct _CLIENT_CONN_PARAMS *) + 0x3F
w3svc!W3OnConnectEx(void *,unsigned long,unsigned long,struct _OVERLAPPED *) + 0x8D
ISATQ!_AtqBandwidthGetInfo@12 + 0x41F
ISATQ!_AtqBandwidthGetInfo@12 + 0x63C
KERNEL32!lstrcmpiW + 0xBE
'.

what is a "Big-Butt Test"?
[/quote]

remove top open windows. get person with big butt to sit in seat. open doors and then close doors. if the doors don't close either the longs are rusted or the butt is too big.

It very well could. My team is looking at what you sent right now...I'll get back to you if we get any bright ideas.


Thanks joe, Now I need to find someone with a big ass for my car.

This site goes down quicker than Aaron on Matt!

among about another 32 programming/scripting languages ...
i'm a computer guy, i work with anything that's out there.

i hate PHP because it's buggy and some of the cumbersome syntax is annoying at best.
there's thousands of examples of bad judgment calls in programming/scripting languages.

take java for example. they try to make you believe it's "bad programming"" to have a GOTO command (jump to a label).
i call it BS! not one single computer on this planet would even start up without a GOTO command available to the CPU.
bad programming my ass. i can show you a few java functions where it would be much faster, cleaner and to the point to use a GOTO command.

most of the kids today that work on developing those programming languages have never ever used any machine language. or seen it for that matter.
and it shows in their attempts ...

i hate 'em ...

thanks for listening,
Andy

PS: you wanna be cool? try to learn "Brainfuck".
and yes, it's a programming language. do a search on google.

like BASIC

I wrote a hangman game for BASIC (for the Apple IIgs), over 2000 lines of code.

in fifth grade during recess....

b

har har

You certainly got your reasons....I definitely agree with you that Java and .Net are way better than PHP.

and as for the GOTOs, you do have a point there.....


pm sent with some thoughts on the php issues.

Sorry Aaron, it's like Howard opened the door for that answer and nobody took it, so I had to.

i figured so - i dont really care

I don't care what language you write in, at compile time it becomes a nasty nest of "goto"s or Jumps and Branches specifically. I've done my share of assembly in college and in one of my jobs. Now I'm do'in C++ and I actually would prefer to be working on an Assembly project.


Oh and this site goes down faster than Alpha and a <you fill in the blank>

retired insurance broker on a wrecked Ferrari.

A Tennessee Leg hound on my uncle ted

I find this strange.

....fat chick's prom dress.....

I don't! I did it too.

10 PRINT "WHO HIJACKED MY TOPIC???"
20 GOTO 10

your mom.

Looks like an Ini file to me...

then a goat for Miles

The correct answer is "the Titanic only went down once"....

But what is the correct question?

Ken

Was the site down today? I wouldn't know. Verison had on of its OC12s cut in the morning today (we think) and our entire campus was off line from 6am - when I left at 5.

What the hell did I do before the internet? I got so much work done today....

Zach

$2 Hooker

For windows?

Nah... Unix/Linux/BSD yes. All 5 major releases

a bug free version of PHP? Yes. But it comes in tar.gz format, and doesn't have any dll's or ini's. Don't know if that would work for you or not...

Groupie

yeah, sure ... god i'm sooo tired of this shit ...

OK, here's the deal, *YOU* get me a dual cpu server with raid array, lots of ram and plenty of harddrive space *for free*, install a working copy of unix/linux of your choice, make it work with this bbs software, migrate all the existing data over and then volunteer for sysadmin ...

deal?
Andy

You doin good andy...

Just think, 100's of men (and a few women) come here every day to get their fix...

Consider yourself a crack dealer, a pimp, a GOD, exc..

but you work for free!!

(thats a damn nice pimp dawg...)

Andy, settle down mang.

All you need to do is ask nicely. I still have friends in the web hosting biz (got to when you used to collect checks as a web app. developer). Problem is you're trying to meet out of your own time what most hosting companies provide for a hell of a lot less stress. You name it, they got it. Starting around $5.99/month... I know a few places. Migrating is simple, yet time consuming. Export DB to raw text file, install BBS software, import the text file, setup BBS with proper mysql login/pw, rebuild your filesystem, copy it all over... Done it hundreds of times.

Some of us have skills relevant to web development... The big issue you're facing is you are using software not designed to run on the platform you have. Although it was easier to install a windows operating system, windows versions of apache and PHP (both far less stable than their *nix compilations), or MS's IIS instead of Apache (far less secure). It's going to be a PITA. And I definitely give you a hand and all of my gratitude for enduring it.

I just didn't think you were into pain

hahaha a goat on Mi... HEY!



... faster than a raped escort on a lacrosse team...


M