So tonight I get home from running after super to find out the kid next door jumped my daughter( 13 yrs old) tonight. Thier kids were out front playing in our yard and Lizzy went out and asked them to go play in thier yard. The older one of the boys (12 yrs old) starts in calling her a lezbo and pushes her backwards and she fell. Then he jumped on top of her and put her in a head lock and was choking her while telling her you know you love me. Here is the kicker we are white and they are not, we have talked to the kids folks before about the boy calling her stupid white girl and other race type of names. My girl could care less what race some one is her best friend at school is black and they hang around with the kid who is new and came from China I think. She has never made racial coments to them. Do I got to the cops and file a complaint or what?

Man Larry, I don't know what to offer. That's tough. Can you meet with the parents and see if their open to having a sit down with the kids and find out what went wrong? Maybe your past that point. I know your intensions will be in the right place no matter what you decide.

I'd say you have to do something. At least talk with the other parents. Ask the cops to drop by and talk with you, they don't have to talk with the neighbours as long as the neighbours know that the cops know.

Sounds like that kid is a bit messed up with those kind of mixed signals.

AAWWWWWWWWWKWERD ! I'm not sure what I would do. Don't take this the wrong way but hopefuly your daughter has some bruises where this delinquint choked or hit her to help substantiate the story. Otherwise you become " the assh-le racist" on the block. How have the parents responded in the past when you have talked to them about the little terror?

I'd offer his parents one change to set the boy straight
I don't think I could keep cool for very long though...

real sorry to hear this Larry
give Lizzy a big hug from all of us!

Maybe instead of filing a complaint, get a cop or two to come over and talk with both of his parents as well as you and your wife. That would let them know you are serious about the matter but want to help him not just get him in trouble?

I have talked to the dad before about the stupid white girl remaks. He was like "my litte angle would never say such a thing, and I domt know where he would come up with saying some thing like that. His Momma and I dont talk like that." I have heard them over the fence when they have friends over and I have been out in the shop and I can tell you the nut didnt fall too far from the tree if you know what I meen

If you remove the race aspect of this, that young man needs to learn right from wrong. He needs to know that you can't assault someone because he feels like it and it's oblivious his parents haven't taught him this life lesson.

Call the police.

Lesse,

Girl goes out to ask kids to leave her yard and go play in theirs,

Male kid calls her names, knocks her over, jumps on her, puts her in a head lock, and chokes her while telling her he loves her.....

Don't see any color in that picture.... I see an attack, violence, and don't like the love comments at all.....

What I would be concerned with is his next step. Rape?

You need the cops in on this one. If they offer no help, pull him aside later and tell him what you WILL do to him before the cops can come to save his ass.....

Ken

Very difficult. However, when physical violence is involved at this age, you have to take a very hard line. You need to do this not only to protect your daughter physically, but you have to do this so she knows that you are there for her and you are protecting her.

I would call the police and see what they say. I would also tell your neighbors that if their kid touches yours again, that you will call the cops and press charges.

Unfortunately, you can't let this go or it will only get worse.

Just remember, confrontation and conflict sometimes are a good thing. It gives you the opportunity to assert your authority and it will provide a framework for future issues as they arise. Not just with your neighbor, but your daughter too.

I bet they have encountered similar situations before...

I didn't start my last growth spurt until I was 17 so I was a small kid. A kid that

keeps getting away with being a bully will push it farther and farther unless

someone fights back. If he is allowed to continue, and it sounds like his little

angel will, things could get really ugly. I think he needs to be called out on the

carpet on this one. I rairly see you mis-spell your words so I know you are upset

but cool heads will prevail. Contact the police and speak with the juvenal crimes

division and explain what happened, They may have a program for that kind

of kid. Sorry and Good Luck.

My daughter was victim of other girls bullying her in Jr High. NOTHING like what you describe, but it went on and on. I trusted the professionals at this private school to deal with it. What a laugh. The teacher simply avoided conflict any way he could.

This went on through 6 and 7 grade. Beginning of grade 8 I told the teacher (Waldorf school, same teacher 1st through 8th grade) That if any other kid so much as sneered at Annalee, and the school didn't deal with immediately, that I would make him and a lot of others at the school very unhappy. He looked at me and said "i understand".

Sure enough the biggest girl in the class (and the queen bee) drew down on the smallest girl in the class (my girl Annalee) with a volleybal at point blank range. I called the teacher at home that night, he put his wife (a strong willed woman and teacher on it) and that was it. Apologies made, and no more BS.

My regret: I trusted others to look out for my girl for too long. She l(justifiably) ost faith in me, though by acting quiclky last year she now knows I will protect her.

PROTECT YOUR KID.

I hope there were witnesses, but even if not, call the cops, and make it very clear that if anyone from this family is in your yard, you consider it tresspass and will file a complaint. Get a restraining order.

Things are long past any cordial relationship with this bunch.

Look out for your family. And yes I agree the little SOB needs to feel heat and consequences. They DO lock up 13 year olds.

It's a hard time to raise daughters. Girls are assaulted with nefative messages about their bodies, their sexuality, the way they should respond to volence, unwelcome advances etc.

I think I know what you would have done if you had been there when this happened; you would have torn the little bastard apart. Why would you respond any less vigorously because you weren't on the scene.

Nothing difficult here. Protect your kid.

Wow, the audacity of kids is amazing. I have 2 daughters and I'm probably overprotective of little girls. The way this world is going and stuff you hear about school violence, sexual harrassment, and kid behavior says don't let anything go un-reported and un-challenged.

Please take the things I say as my feelings being very far away from your situation. Ignore my thoughts if it bothers you. Agressive behaviour only gets worse.

This kid needs to be scared out of his mind for what he did to your daughter. His behaviour is totally unacceptable and borderline criminal.

I would not talk to the parents. If they approach you, ok, talk about it. As you mentioned, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. No parent if confronted by other parents will admit that his kid is a dumbass or did something. Their admission of their kid's guilt could be used against them in a court of law. They might bitch at him behind closed doors but won't admit to anything to you.

File charges. Charges can be dropped later but file charges now. Charges could include simple assault, racial harrassment, sexual harrassment, and attempted rape. Don't mess around before he gets worse or really attacks her.

If this kid is in the same school as your daughter, contact the school. They need to know about this. My neighbor is our high school vice principle and if parents bring these things to them, especially if the name calling and harassment goes on in or around school or on the school bus, then they are required to investigate and even contact the police if necessary.

Again, these are my feelings being removed from your situation. Please feel free to totally ignor what I've said here if it bothers you.

Good luck,
Spoke

I would call just so there is a record of the incident in case God forbid something like this happens again or has been happening to other kids. Documentations is always a good thing and its better to be safe, especially since there seems to be some history of one-sided verbal confrontation.

A twelve your old and talks like that? It has to come from the parents and a learned behavior. Their yard is no longer a safe place to for your little girl and this one can slip in my books but you still need to tell the parents about it. If it happens again in your yard or the side walk or something, then the parents need to know that you will hold them responsible. As for the racist stuff, there is by far more racism within their own race than we, all the races combined, have EVER given them. Maybe they have a little Rowandan in them, look out! Inversly, there are many wonderful black people which I hold as dear friends and have tought me much about their cultur and racism within their cultur.

For shizzel my nizzel.

Hey

Realy shitty thing to happen...Teenager violence is a very,very serious problem. You can go to the local police station and file a report without pressing charges. At a minimum get the cops card and tell the parents that you have spoken with the police.

If the shoe was put on the other foot, how long do you think it would take for them to call the police and your family labelled the racists? Your not born with racism...its learned. Sounds like a punk in the making, regardless of color.

Good luck, be safe.

Later

Definitely, call the police, file a complaint. The assaulting kids parents don't care, therefore they are sending a clear message to their child that they approve. It's just a matter of time until it gets worse, there is no one checking that kids behavior.

If you hadn't noticed, violence amongst are youth is out of control. Don't let your child be victimized any more.

If you can not speak with the parents then you have no recourse but to go to the police.

1) Act in a way that assures your daughter of her safety and your undying support.

2) Nip the neighbor kid problem in the bud because he will escallate and this can very well turn into a rape situation.

Expect that the parents will likely bad mouth you in private which will nullify any punitive effet towads the little shit. The little shit will continue to taunt yoru daughter when she is alone and he will become more boysterous if not put in check. It may be time for the cops if you have tried diplomacy. This will get it on reacord.

3) Get your daughter pepper spray and some self defense training. If shee looks like an easy mark (and I hate to tell you this, she did or he would not have been so bold) then she will be a target. A little pepper spray and a kick in the nuts ought to fix the SOB and make him think twice about victimizing your daughter.

It is obvious that he likes your daugher in a bad way and does not know how to express it in a respectable mannor.

My daughter will be 12 in two months so I know what it's like raising a girl.

Personally, I wouldn't hesitate to call the police and press every charge possible, especially since you have tried to talk to the parents already.

This kind of crap needs to be dealt with as harshly and quickly as possible...

I had a "chat" with the old man. He was all like my kid would never do something like that. I told him his kids are to stay on the sidewalk and our yard is not the play ground for his kids. I told him if his kids ever say anything to my kids other than hi Im heading over to the cops and file a complaint, if they ever touch any of my kids I will press charges.

Why do white people always have to justify there actions when the other person is a different race?

Talk to the Dad and make it clear if this happens again they better just move.

I wouldn't say what I would do but it wouldn't happen to my family ever. A mans #1 job is to protect his family.



Also what the kid did is technicaly a racial crime. He should be in jail. You can call the cops and report a racial crime. Guy in NY got jail time for beating a car theif not to long ago. He got the jail time not for beating him but calling him a nigger while he did it.

ANYONE touches my kid, I file charges.....AFTER the little bastard stops blowing snot bubbles out of his broken face.

I had some trouble with a little shit pulling some stuff with my daughter. I confronted the parents, they said drop dead. I waited and confronted the little shit when he and I were alone, and told him if he ever messed with her again, he was DONE.

He laughed, and told me that he woudl call the cops on me and would continue to do whatever he wanted......

That's when I moved in REAL CLOSE and told him in a really SCARRY voice......

"By the time the cops GET HERE....... It will be WAY TOO LATE for you....."

Ever see somebody's eyes bulge when they realize YOU are REALLY serious?

No trouble from then on....

Kennotnormalysoscarrybutdontscrewwithmykids

It really sucks when you have people like that living around you. Best bet is to talk to the parents first. If they are resistant, call the police and start talking about "hate crimes" (yes that is a two way street), assalt, sexual assalt, and what ever else you can think of. That way the cops have a nice tidy little record of what has happened. Tell the police that you can take care of the little racist pervert right now and it should take you about 5 minutes to get your "tazer" out of the closet and go apply it to his short and curly area.

I agree with the good DR here. Really with point #3 There are no rules when it comes to fighting. If someone attacks my kid, God help them if I get my hands on them. I'm not saying your daughter needs to become a black belt, but some basic self defense tactics can go a long way in protecting herself as she gets older.

I would also make sure the kid knows you are watching him and he understands what will happen to him IF he trys that crap again.

Yes, no doubt. I needs to be a matter of public record. If your child had done the same and made racist comments you'd be at the local police office explaining the whats and whys, and why your child won't do that again.

I'm no lawyer, but my stepdad was. He would say if you do nothing you are condoning and essetially encouraging that behavior.

Just my .02 though, I don't live in your neighborhood. Tough deal regardless.

Call the police, assault is assault. If this had been a white guy and a black girl...would that be a problem? You need to protect your daughter and make certain your neighbors know you will NOT put up with that crap....in less enlightened times....oh well...it would be handled differently. Men don't choke women unless their "weaseldicks"...imho