TODAY IN THE NEWS Options

[JoeSharp]

Today in southern California, three VW-philes joined together to form a new racing team. Based in Huntington Beach, the team members include: racing for the Ladies, Lighting Linda Lopez (/L.), Chop Chop Thomas (one914racer) will be going out after the big boys and Joe Sharp will be handling the duties of logistics and support.
Linda was heard to say "This is a wonderful opportunity for me to listen to my Rock while Cone Crusing"
Thomas's only reply was "HOLEY CRAPPER" !!
Joe was quoted to say, "It is with great pleasure that I have the privilege to announce the formation of the new racing team of "Team NARP Racing". With the acquisition of the new trailer (Moncha) we have the abillity to provide to our racers, all the comfort and facilities of any team out there."

[Twystd1]

To whom it may concern,

RE: NARP Racing

Attention: Joe and Team mates

It has come to my attention that your team needs a spiritual leader and all around Oracle. (I.E. Psychiatrist )

Allow me to list my Qualifications....

1) I am not good at anything in particular.
2) I don't know dick about Teeners.
3) I am gone on bussiness most of the year.
4) I actually like Scott. (nobodys perfect)
5) I am better looking than Aaron.
6) I flunked high school and college.
7) Was booted out of law school.
8) I don't smoke Mota or drink, yet I can roll em with the best of em.
9) I know all the team members. And don't like any of them.
10) I have more tools than you can imagine. And I don't know how to use any of them. Yet they look pretty in my roll away.
11) Charley Manson is my hero.
12) I have ZERO temper issues with my self. Just others.
13) I have more guns than God.

I believe that working with others that have my same backround and expertise will enable me to grow as an all around Oracle and loser.

I am under the delusion that the above qualifications put me squarely in the running for possible further employment with your team.

As the great "Slits" once told me. "Birds of a feather fuck together"
Sage words from a great man.

Therefore we could fuck together like birds. Makes sense to me.......

Please let me know what else you may need for qualifications.

Sincerely mine,
Clayton Clark Esq. Oracle