OT: Need ideas for coworker with troubled youth. Options

[Qarl]

I have a coworker that has a troubled youth.

Her son, now 13, was formerly a straight-A student, had great friends and was a nice young man. This was two years ago.

About that time, his best friend was murdered. In the same time frame, he was in two car accidents (one in which he lost one of his fingers). Ever since, he's been angry at the world, lashing out, rebelling, and getting continually out of control.

He now is getting involved with drugs, crime, hanging out with older kids and adults, failing in school, disrespecting his parents and generally being a bad kid. He skips school, escapes out the bedroom window at midnight, lies and steals

His parents are in a low-income household. THey work hard to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. His mother has tried the counselors at school (she says the really have nothing to offer), they've tried anger management, outside counseling, etc.

They are at their wits end and the mother says that she's losing her baby.

She is looking to me for ideas on how to get help for her child. Her problem is she can't afford much, if at all. Government funding, state funding... anything would help.

I've asked if he has any interests, and she says none that are good. She goes to church, but he has no interest in attending youth programs or getting involved in Scouting.

She'd love some sort of boot camp, boys ranch, boarding school, or scare-straight type program... but she can't afford anything.

Any and all ideas are appreciated.

Thanks,

Karl

[Twystd1]

Karl,

I have spent the last 15 years working with young men that are in much the same position. Full time. Dam near 7 days a week.

And the only advice I have for the mom is not to co-sign the negative behavior as best she can. Thats the best she is going to do.
He is pissed and angry. And has no way to vent it out in a socially acceptable way.

The advice I have for you is simple. Until an older man steps up to mentor this fella. The odds of the young man, learning to become the man he really wants to be, may not happen.

It is up to the men that have a social consciousness to get with the younger man and teach them how to be. It has been that way for thousands of years. It has never changed. I suggest YOU step up... or find someone that will. And try to engage the young man with care, honesty and a healthy masculine identity that he can relate to.

The young man needs a SAFE place where he can vent HOW HE REALLY FEELS. And it ain't pretty.....

He doesn't have this safe place to mourn his loss and his pain.

The older men need to step up and create this safe place for him...

Or it will probably get worse with time.

I believe thats the best we can do as a man. Create a safe place for the young ones. let them feel their pain with the men.... So they don't have to act it out in society.

Clayton