Ohh....geez....my kids and wife came in with the news that Bush is ahead in the electoral count....they were chanting Kerry sucks.....I'm raining conservatives....shoot me now.....

Bless that little blonde Army of Darkness.

I am offended by that picture mike, unless you also have a picture of your license.



Miles

With sharp pointy teeth!




Badges?! We don't need no stinkin badges!

you go girl !!!

when you're done, get the Monty Python collection (make sure you'll get to see the Spanish Inqusition!) and after that, if you feel really adventureous, go and rent the "Black Adder" ensemble.

and if that leaves you with the graving for even better british humor, get the whole "Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy" series on video ...

Andy

no it's not... it's a killer rabbit
bring the holy grenade

ahh, you haven't missed much, mer. but then again, british humor confounds me entirely....

. . . on the count of three, not 3-1-2, nor 2-1-3.

(meebee I got those numbers mixed).

Favorite convo in a monty python movie:

"How are we doing today sir?"
"Better"
"Better?"
"Better get me a bucket, I'm going to be sick"

Ha, makes me laugh just thinking about that scene.

I'm here for the arguement.....

Hmmm

You'll have to let us know if the Blockbuster version is as censored as the TV version. Knowing Blockbuster, it probably is.

"No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben."

i'm sorry to hear about your loss ...

Andy

I went and Voted. I tossed one to Kerry, cause Utah is waay republican, and no Dem's ever come here to Campaign.

Its sad, but I want Utah to be a border state like Pen, and Florida!

wouldn't it be fun if the whole country was borderline ???


wait, that didn't sound right!
Andy

I'm looking for the ministry of silly walks!

King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?

Lancelot: I know not, my liege.

King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments!

Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu--

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

Brother Maynard: Amen.

All: Amen.

King Arthur: Right. One... two... five!

Galahad: Three, sir.

King Arthur: Three!

TIS BUT A FLESHWOUND!!!!! your ams off! no its not! youre a looney! im invincible! what, you gonna bleed on me?

come back and fight, you coward!

no, you're not...!

this is abuse!

How can you tell he is the King?

He ain't got shit on him.

I've seen The Princess Bride! Good, at least I get points for that one.

I'll make a mental note to check out Monty Python. A friend of mine used to quote some scene about witch trials. And I remember it made me laugh. But that's all I know. I'm hopeless at remembering movie lines.

i am your king!

well i didnt vote for him.

you dont vote for your king!

What .....is your favorite color?

How far are you from California?



haha


M

Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaaaaagggh........

and so there was much rejoicing..... YAY

I thought we were all here for the abuse!

Abuse is down the hall....room 313....

anyone see the monty python mosquito hunting?

or the "art of not being seen!"

...and how shall we fuck off, oh Lord?

....and after the spankings.....

Anyone know 'burying the cat'?





M

Thanks Jenny needed to see a pic like that. My buddie died last week, made me smile
John

Oh Piss-boy...

PISS BOY....WAIT for the shake.....

yo mike -- If this were a political thread, I'd point out something like "republicans ain't really conservatives. (i.e. gi-normous deficit/etc) W's bunch is what are termed "neoConservatives" -- (and you need to say that down your nose if you are in the Pat Roberts-camp) -- or in any overly-fiscally-conservative camp for that matter."

Thank &deity. this isn't a political thread! Princess Bride -- rocks. Monty Python -- rocks. Can add one bit from Steve Martin (LA Story -- has moments of hysteria if you are CA based) and if you drag out ROS, you will commence mentioning Cheech&Chong.

kim.

cheech and chong "save the whales! shoot the seals! save them big fat funky whales!"

No problem. Everyone can use a bit of puppy in their lives. I call it fuzz therapy (so does Calvin )

In other news, it's nice to see so many of us are so well versed in Monty Python. I didn't expect it. I was introduced to it in one of my literature classes in middle school. My brother reinforced it, along with hitchhiker's guide. Awesome movies. We always did sketches of these in my drama classes. But that's about as far as my british humor goes. I don't get those "Are you being served?" and "Absolutely Fabulous" types. Trigger happy is funny though.

And now here's a parrot...

He's expired..


M

I'd post a photo of a ROUS if I could find one, but then they aren't cute like Jenny's puppies or the parrot. Oh, I forgot, ROUS don't exist - I think!

I love that show! Cracks me up.

Oh, they exist alright... Here's one I caught at last summer's camping trip. Cute little bugger, huh?

Wow, are you ever fast!

I want a shrubbery!

Google-- ya gotta love it!!

Jen

Do rabbits eat shrubbery?

Mrs. Conclusion (Chapman): Hullo, Mrs. Premise.

Mrs. Premise (Cleese): Hullo, Mrs. Conclusion.

Conclusion: Busy Day?

Premise: Busy? I just spent four hours burying the cat.

Conclusion: *Four hours* to bury a cat?

Premise: Yes - it wouldn't keep still.

Conclusion: Oh - it wasn't dead, then?

Premise: No, no - but it's not at all well, so as we were going to be on the safe side.

Conclusion: Quite right - you don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat. It'd be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that's what I say. We're going to have to have our budgie put down.

Premise: Really - is it very old?

Conclusion: No, we just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow.

Premise: Tell me, how do they put budgies down, then?

Conclusion: Well, it's funny you should ask that, because I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.

Premise: Just there? Well, well, well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo.

Conclusion: No, you shouldn't do that - no, that's dangerous. They *breed* in the *sewers*!

LOL

No he's just resting.

Man, I'm there. What the Hell happened? Let's get back to the issues.

I voted. Just before the polls closed. Many people wonder why so late. There are many important CA legislative positions and initiatives that it does not matter how late one votes. We all know that Kerry will win in CA. But I value my votes for the local issues.

-Jeff

(Sound: Church bells, lots of them, ringing.)



Man: I wish those bloody bells would stop.

Wife: Oh, it's quite nice dear, it's Sunday, it's the church.

M: What about us atheists? Why should we 'ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil?

W: You're a lapsed atheist, dear.

M: The principle's the same. The Mohmedans don't come 'round here wavin' bells at us! We don't get Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathroom! Or Hindus harmonizing in the hall! The Shintus don't come here shattering sheet glass in the shithouse, shouting slogans-

W: All right, don't practice your alliteration on me.

M: Anyway, when I membership card and blazer badge back from the League of Agnostics, I shall urge the executive to lodge a protest against that religious racket! Pass the butter knife!

W: WHAT??

M: PASS THE BUTTER KNIFE!! (pause) THANK YOU! IF ONLY WE HAD SOME KIND OF MISSILE!

W: 'OLD ON, I'LL CLOSE THE WINDOW.

M: WHAT?!

W: I SAID, I'LL CLOSE THE WINDOW!



(Sound: Window closing, bells get faint, but are still there)



M: If only we had some kind of missile, we could take the steam out of those bells.

W: Well, you could always use the number 14-St. Joseph-the-somewhat-divine-on-the-hill ballistic missile. It's in the attic.

M: What ballistic missile would this be, then?



(Sound: Bells begin to get increasingly louder)



W: I made it for you, it's your birthday present!

M: Just what I wanted, 'ow nice of you to remember, my pet.

'ERE!

W: WHAT?

M: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!

W: WHAT?

M: THOSE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER!!

W: THE BELLS ARE GETTING LOUDER! OOOH, LOOK!

M: WHAT?

W: THE CHURCH, IT.. ITS COMING CLOSER! ITS COMING DOWN THE 'ILL!

M: WHAT A LIBERTY!

W: ITS TURNING INTO OUR LANE! WELL, YOU BETTER GO PUT IT OUT OF IT'S MISERY.

M: WHERE'S THIS MISSILE, THEN?

W: IT'S IN THE ATTIC. PRESS THE BUTTON MARKED CHURCH!

M: 'OW DO I AIM IT?

W: IT AUTOMATICALLY HOMES IN ON THE NEAREST PLACE OF WORSHIP!

M: BUT THAT'S ST. MARKS!

W: IT ISN'T NOW, LOOK!! OH, ITS OP'NING THE GATE.

M: WHAT? USE THE MEGAPHONE!

W: IT'S OP'NING THE GATE!! 'HURRY UP, ITS TRAMPLING OVER THE AZALIAS!



(Sound: Missle launch, explosion, bells diminish)



M: Did I 'it it?

W: Yes, right up the aisle.

M: Well I've always said, There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he really doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.

I missed that episode of Monty Python - the first time I ever heard the term "Budgie" was in a very funny movie called "Rat". It's about an Irish guy who turns into a rat and how his family deals with it. It may not sound like it, but it's hilariously funny - highly recommended!

SLITS. Man, get a life. I know you are a bit out there but what drugs are you on?